Being Rude Comic Strips - Page 47
527 Results for Being Rude
View 461 - 470 results for being rude comic strips. Discover the best "Being Rude" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 26, 2017's comic on:
Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Share February 24, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.
Share March 04, 2017's comic on:
Boss: I can't assign you to a project team because everyone hates you for your political opinions. Wally: And they don't hate me for being useless in general? Boss: I guess we all got used to that. Wally: You'll get used to the other thing, too. Give it some time.
Share March 07, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.
Share March 09, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?
Share April 09, 2017's comic on:
Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.
Share March 27, 2017's comic on:
Share April 08, 2017's comic on:
Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.
Share April 12, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.
Share July 02, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?