Better Plans Comic Strips - Page 47

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

562 Results for Better Plans

View 461 - 470 results for better plans comic strips. Discover the best "Better Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Writing Code In Spare Time

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Visualize Your Contribution To Society

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Visualize Your Contribution To Society - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meaning, #overthinking, #purpose, #value, #distraction, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to start each workday by visualizing how my work will make the world a better place. Gaaaa!!! My life is meaningless and nothing I do will ever matter!!! Okay, good. I like to get that out of the way early.

How It Feels To Never Accomplish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How It Feels To Never Accomplish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #perspective, #happiness, #satisfaction, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.

Carol Overschedules

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Overschedules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #useless, #laziness, #work ethic, #ignorance, #trying, #effort, #club

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.

How It Would Be With Robots In Charge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How It Would Be With Robots In Charge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #slave, #enslavement, #power, #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #annoyance, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Buwhahahaha! I will use my superior robot brain to enslave humankind! Wally: That probably sounds better than it would actually be. How It Would Be: Wally: I'm tired. I need to recharge. Robot: Gaaaa!!! I hate owning you!

Wally And Gender Balance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And Gender Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #Advice, #gender, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What did you say to my daughter's class about stem careers? Wally: I told the boys to pursue restaurant work because it's a better way to meet women. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: You said you want gender balance, and now you have it.

Retirement Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retirement, #future, #planning, #plan, #death, #aging, #work, #savings, #dying, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

Asok Not A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #extremism, #frustration, #racism, #accusation, #accuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!

Trapped Under Rubble

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trapped Under Rubble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #freedom, #guest artist, #happiness, #job, #misery, #satisfaction, #john glynn, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."