Getting Stupid Comic Strips - Page 47

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

547 Results for Getting Stupid

View 461 - 470 results for getting stupid comic strips. Discover the best "Getting Stupid" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chakras, #compatibility, #dancing, #dating, #yoga, #risk, #guzzle wine, #live music, #chakra energy, #hives, #hate dance, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like dancing and... Dilbert: I'm out. I avoid any relationship that has a risk of dancing. Woman: You're rejecting me because I like to dance? Dilbert: Yeah, it would start out all innocent... but two months into it you'd be guzzling wine and dragging me toward live music. Then you'd start doing all this... and this... and some of this... Woman: I also enjoy doing yoga to release my chakra energy. Does that bother you? Dilbert: I think I'm getting hives.

View more books now

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Ceo Succession Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Succession Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inheritance & succession, #insulting, #strategy, #loser, #incompetent, #honor, #be considered

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The board is getting on me for not having a succession plan. Find me a loser who is so incompetent that the board won't want to fire me. Boss: It's an honor to even be considered! Catbert: I was going to say that!

What Phase Of The Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Phase Of The Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #insulting, #project, #questioning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.

Dogbert Disposes Bodies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Disposes Bodies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dolphin, #exotic pets, #hit man, #murder, #murder for hire, #russian military, #killed clown, #dead bodies, #disposal, #expert

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.

Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #verbiage, #technical, #jargon, #deception, #logic, #team player, #babble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.

Health Sensor Predictes Death

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!

Alice Breaks Up With Boyfriend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Breaks Up With Boyfriend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #breakup, #dating, #breaking up, #drone, #stalking, #follow, #spying, #attention, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm breaking up with you because you don't give me enough attention. All you care about is your stupid aerial photography hobby. I wish you the best. That felt like a clean break.

Wally's Hobby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Hobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #insult, #backhanded compliment, #hobby, #obliviousness, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Your strategy looks like a genius way to fight the last war. Boss: Thank you. Wally: No problem. You owe me a compliment. At what point does insulting your boss and getting away with it count as a hobby?