Quality Product Comic Strips - Page 47

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512 Results for Quality Product

View 461 - 470 results for quality product comic strips. Discover the best "Quality Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diet, dating, restaurant, relationships, health

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Dilbert: It took me six months to get a reservation here. I hear the food is amazing. Woman: It sounds fantastic. It's too bad I'm on a cucumber diet. I can only eat cucumbers after five o'clock. Dilbert: Well, it seems you have squandered my invitation to fine dining. Now my plan of sharing a culinary adventure is just a sad commentary on the casual rudeness of life. Can I expect you to complain about the quality of your cucumber and send it back? Waiter: We don't have cucumbers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea, criticism, inventions, obfuscate

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Dilbert: And that is my idea for our new product. Are there any ignorant objections? Man: Your idea is totally ridiculous! It's like you're tying to build castles in the sky! Dilbert: Have you heard of Air Force One, the plane used by the president of The United States? That's basically a castle in the sky, and someone built it. Man: Well, if your idea is so good, why hasn't someone already done it? Dilbert: I'm guessing that everyone else had co-workers like you.

Sales Is Blaming Marketing

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Sales Is Blaming Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales, responsibility, blame, business

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Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.

Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones

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Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety, product, pr, public relations, battery, samsung, explosion, danger

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Boss: We hired The Dogbert Public Relations Firm to help us with our exploding phone problem. Dogbert: We have two choices. We can either recall all of the phones, or we can convince people that having one ear is cool. Boss: Recalls are expensive. Dogbert: Okay, the Van Gogh strategy it is.

Ceo Fixes His Problem

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Ceo Fixes His Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product safety, danger, battery, recall, cell phone, samsung, media, Entertainment, technology

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CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.

Cartoonist As Spokesperson

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Cartoonist As Spokesperson - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spokesperson, embarrassment, celebrity, promoter, product

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Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

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Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, Promotion, management, work, laziness

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Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, group project

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Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

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Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, speaker, alexa, google, blackmail, extortion, spying, secrets

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Dogbert Is A Good Listener

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Dogbert Is A Good Listener - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags listening, ignoring, earbuds, headphones

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Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.