Stop Meetings Comic Strips - Page 47

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

583 Results for Stop Meetings

View 461 - 470 results for stop meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Text Is More Important Than Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Text Is More Important Than Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #power, #subversion, #text, #text message, #attention, #pellet of attention, #ignore, #superior, #demonstrate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Showering In Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes, #clothing, #efficiency, #engineers, #laundry, #nerd, #tube clothes, #shower, #shower drain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

Elon Musk Fears Ai

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elon Musk Fears Ai - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #etiquette & ethics, #misanthropy, #technology, #elon musk, #artificial intelligemce, #humankind

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #distractions, #frustration, #futility, #meeting, #meetings, #stress, #walk, #walking, #phone calls, #email, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #praise, #admiration, #anger, #compliments

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What do you want now? Dilbert: Experts say leaders should surround themselves with people they admire and be generous with praise. Alice, I admire your hard work and intellect. Alice: Stop it! This is creepy! Dilbert: I admire your focus and your determination. Alice: Gaaa!!! Stop admiring me! My skin is crawling! Dilbert: I admire your honesty! Alice: Blech! Wally: Do you feel more like a leader now? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that people hate me.

Useless Mansplainers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Useless Mansplainers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mansplainer, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #Women, #engineers, #programmers, #furstration

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't get any work done because my project team is a bunch of useless mansplainers. Why do men feel the need to explain things to me when I know more than they do? Boss: Let me explain it to you, Alice. Men like to show off and feel important. Alice: Stop it!

Alice's Off Color Jokes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #jokes, #joking, #assume, #assumptions, #offensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #verbiage, #technical, #jargon, #deception, #logic, #team player, #babble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.

Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #condescention, #condescending, #agreement, #mocking, #insult, #insulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop agreeing with me in ways that sound like you don't mean it. Dilbert: Experts say one should first agree with idiots to gain trust before trying to change their minds. Boss: You need to stop doing that. Dilbert: You are so right about that.