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Messages For The Boss

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Messages For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #communication, #internet, #modernity, #attention, #distraction, #excuses, #technology

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Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

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Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #chair, #conversation, #meeting, #robot, #sue, #table, #business

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Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

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Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

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Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone

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Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #germs, #cleanliness, #bathroom, #technology

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Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #greed, #scavenging, #cannibal, #furniture, #energy, #vibes, #health

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Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

Wally Likes Sitting

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Wally Likes Sitting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #standing desk, #health, #sitting, #standing

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Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #attack, #boss, #communication, #managers & supervisors, #mistake, #office workers, #technology, #laser, #nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Documents On Chairs

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Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.

Old Time Chair

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Old Time Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair

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Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2019's comic on:


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