Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 48

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Ethics

View 471 - 480 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business like christianity, faithful and obidient, obtain bliss, afterlife, reincarnation model, higher level employment, bio degrade, become wd40, dinosuar

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement." Dogbert continues, "Now it's more of a reincarnation model. If the worker learns enough in his current job, he can progress to a higher level of employment elsewhere." Dogbert continues, "These analogies aren't working for you, are they, Bob?" Bob replies, "My hope is that one day I will biodegrade and become 'WD-40' oil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags combine words, ecosystem, engagement manger, ratbert, seem smart, walmart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I'm going back into the consulting business and I need you to be my engagement manager." Dogbert continues, "You'll seem very smart if you randomly combine the words on this list and make many references to 'Wal-Mart.'" Ratbert sits at a conference table with Dilbert and the Boss. Ratbert says, "It's like 'Wal-Mart.' Migrate your value into the white spaces of the ecosystem." The Boss says, "Wow! That's one smart rat!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, life insurance policy, pay premiums, collect insurance, valuable, company, don't like cats, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design product brochure, criminal fraud, marketing, not worng, conscience, marketing epople, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil, executed, hr driector, ill be fired, internet, non buiness, personal thoughts, sadistic policies, senseless, warning, mass email, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Any employee who uses the Internet for non-business purposes will be fired." Catbert types, "And any employee who sits in a company chair while having a personal thought will be executed by security." Catbert smiles and thinks, "The great thing about senseless, sadistic policies is that they don't require a lot of explanation."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, meeting, obvious generalities, revenue for profit, run by artits, small businesses, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on the couch reading. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a consultant in the field of obvious generalities." Dogbert explains, "I'll work for small businesses that are run by artists. They'll think I'm brilliant, which I am." Dogbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. The man, who has a goatee, says, "Whoa! Are you saying we need REVENUE to make profit??" The woman says, "Ouch! I've got a headache on one side."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cloud of doom, overlook, lighting strikes, meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I need everyone's help on this project. I hope you can overlook the cloud of doom that hovers nearby." The cloud floats over their heads. A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes Wally in the head. Wally falls over in his chair. Dilbert says, "Wow. It's lucky that wasn't someone we like." Asok looks frightened as the cloud heads toward him.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bearer, bead news, tragic, find humor, husband, village people, coming back, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babbled, boss, meeting, appointment, office, blah blah, can't shut up, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern sits on a couch and the Boss sits in a chair. Asok holds a paper. The Boss gestures and says, "Blah, blah, blah." Asok thinks, "I only have thirty minutes and he's babbled for twenty-eight." Asok thinks, "It took three weeks to get on his calendar. My only hope is to send esp messages for him to shut up." Asok presses his hands to his temples, shuts his eyes tightly and thinks, "Shut up," over and over. He's sweating. The Boss continues to say, "Blah, blah, blah." Carol, the Boss's secretary, says to Asok, "Nice try, but it's time for his next filibuster."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil director, clean desk policy, lick clean, spineless, stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert stands atop Wally's computer monitor and waves a new policy sheet in Wally's face. "Here's the new 'clean desk' policy, Wally." Wally reads from the sheet, "Employees must lick their workplaces clean at the end of each business day." Wally stands in the doorway to the Boss's office. He says, "Do they seriously think we're this spineless and stupid?" The Boss responds, "Ahm nah chanthing it."