Monthly Plan Comic Strips - Page 48

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View 471 - 480 results for monthly plan comic strips. Discover the best "Monthly Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tina Should Hope For The Best

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Tina Should Hope For The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaints, human resources, results, transparency, business

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Tina: Have you done anything to address my complaints about management? Catbert: I can't tell you about any confidential conversations I have with management. Tina: So... should I just hope for the best? Catbert: That sounds like a solid plan.

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Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating

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Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiating, catch-22, conference, training

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Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags condescention, disagreement, criticism, snark, body language, argument

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Dilbert: Are there any questions? Man: Your plan is so dumb that I am forced to make my condescending face to respond. You are so dumb! Dilbert: Did you have a reason? Man: Do I have a reason? Hahaha! That's precious. There are so many reasons that I don't know where to start! Dilbert: Just pick one. Man: Haha! Easy. You will never get funded. Dilbert: It's already fully funded. What else do you have? Man: To be honest, all I had was the funding issues and this face.

Success Diminishes Other Guy

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Success Diminishes Other Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, diminshed, support, stab me, great deas, discussion, argument

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Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.

User Specifications Are Not Complete

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User Specifications Are Not Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user specifications, apps, build app, no hope, fantasize

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Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?

Alice Gives Honest Opinion

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Alice Gives Honest Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honest opinion, monkey vomit, rescind, request

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The Boss: Alice, I want your honest opinion on my plan. Don't hold back. Alice: Your plan looks like a monkey vomited on a dictionary. The Boss: I remind my request for honesty,. Alice: Your plan is terrific!

Compensation Based On Happiness

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Compensation Based On Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, company culture, raise, wages, job satisfaction, compensation, psychology, money

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Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.

Meeting Rooms Are Booked

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Meeting Rooms Are Booked - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, managers, scheduling, conflict

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Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.

Asking Successful People For Advice

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Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, Advice, ambition

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Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Reducing Headcount By Attrition

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Reducing Headcount By Attrition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, injury, layoff, osha, safety

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CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.