Call Comic Strips - Page 48

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

532 Results for Call

View 471 - 480 results for call comic strips. Discover the best "Call" comics from Dilbert.com.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

No Time Before Next Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

How To Identify Good Ideas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Meeting Ending Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #invent, #app, #application, #ring, #phone, #meeting, #strategic, #direction, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

New Words

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #new words, #racist, #sexist, #power, #master switch, #server, #shelve, #politically correct, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: it has come to our attention that many of the words we use at work are racist and often sexist. for example, we can no longer refer to the main power shut-off as a "master switch." dilbert: is that the one on the server rack? catbert: we call those "shelves" now.

No Mask For Zoom Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Mask For Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #zoom, #video conferencing, #face mask, #clinical, #study, #easy, #hate, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.

People Enjoy Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Enjoy Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #zoom, #customer, #self, #human, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.

Working From Home

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #distractions, #estimate, #family issues, #ipad, #video conferencing, #yelling, #zoom, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate? employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you! dilbert: how do you like working at home? employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!

Can You Zoom Now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can You Zoom Now - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #text message, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #response, #anger, #lack of response

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert sending text: are you available for a zoom call? dilbert thinking: he's typing something. nope, he stopped. okay, he's typing again. no, he stopped again. block of text: i'm available at 2 p.m. tomorrow, Thursday at 9 a.m., or next week any time after three, and now. dilbert sending text: perfect. how about now? dilbert thinking: answer coming. no, he stopped typing. ten minutes later: dilbert angry and yelling: answer me, you jerk!!! thirty minutes later: text answer: does now work? dilbert yelling: too late!!!