Employees Comic Strips - Page 48
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Character
581 Results for Employees
View 471 - 480 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 26,
2018
Tags Dilbert, the boss, draft, same day, sloth, tardiness
Transcript
The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.
Thursday November 01,
2018
Exceeding Expectations
Tags employees, employment, job, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!
Saturday November 03,
2018
Best Places To Work
Tags employees, employment, irony, lying, managers & supervisors, office
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.
Friday November 09,
2018
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good
Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.
Monday November 12,
2018
Dilbert Needs A New Chair
Tags boss, chair, complaining, criticism, irritation, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I need a more ergonomic office chair. Boss: Let me check the budget. Hmm...nope. We don't have a budget for making whiny employees happy. Dilbert: My current chair hurts my back. Boss: It's no picnic for the chair either.
Thursday November 15,
2018
Complaining Versus Hiding
Tags boss, complaining, employees, employment, jobs, managers & supervisors
Transcript
Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.
Thursday November 22,
2018
Teach Employees To Code
Tags boss, computers, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, teaching, smart
Transcript
Boss: The job market is so tight we can't find any programmers. So I want you to teach some of our employees how to code. Dilbert: You mean the smart ones, I hope. Boss: No, we need the smart ones in their current jobs.
Sunday November 25,
2018
Tags career, employees, office, office workers, training, trick, sabatoge
Transcript
Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?
Wednesday November 28,
2018
Sending Email At Night
Tags email, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

