Insults Woman Comic Strips - Page 48

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587 Results for Insults Woman

View 471 - 480 results for insults woman comic strips. Discover the best "Insults Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #communication skills, #poor skills, #random numbers, #spreadsheet, #clarify, #listening skills

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Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #fraternization, #friends with ghots, #ghandi, #ghost personal page, #ghosts, #heaven, #internet & world wide web, #llincoln, #satellite pictures, #social media, #social network, #technology

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Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #restaurants, #filling survey, #surveys, #guilty, #date, #dinner, #restaurant, #Food, #favorite restaurant, #romance, #waiter, #pick up waiter, #ruined, #relationships

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Waiter: Would you mind filling out this customer survey so we know how we're doing? Dilbert: I don't have time to fill out surveys about everything I do. But you're making me feel guilty about not doing it. Oh no! You turned a good customer experience into something ugly. It's getting all awkward and I'm looking like a big jerk in front my date. Now I can never again eat here because I'm afraid of what you'll do to my food. You've ruined my favorite restaurant, as well as my chance of romance with this woman. Waiter: ... favorite restaurant... Woman: What are you doing later?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #couples, #dating, #mobile (cell) phones, #ex boyfreind, #entertainment stabdard, #samrtphone, #smartphone scale, #lying larry, #relationships

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Woman: I used to compare all men to my ex-boyfriend. Now I compare all men to the entertainment standard of my smartphone. Dilbert: I only scored a two on the smartphone scale, but I was a solid five compared to someone named "lying Larry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #quarreling, #bullying behavior, #confirmation bias, #delusional witch

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Woman: Let's begin the meeting, but be aware that I'm documenting all of your bullying behavior. Dilbert: Um... I'm not even close to being a bully, but now your confirmation bias will make everything I say sound like bullying to you. Woman: Can you repeat the part after you implied that I'm a delusional witch?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships

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Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #administrative agencies, #control, #data, #delay, #frustration, #manipulate, #meetings, #time, #two weeks

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Woman: Wally, I need your data for my meeting in three days. Wally: Okay. It shouldn't take more than three or four days to pull it together. Woman: Not three or four days. I need it in three days. Wally: Okay. Three days. Not counting the weekend and the day I give it to you. Woman: That would be six days! Wally: Six or seven days. Tops. Woman: I need it in three days, not a week. Wally: That's no problem. A week or two at the most. Woman: Okay! You win! I'll reschedule my meeting for two weeks out! And you'll have the data in two weeks? Wally: Yes. Two weeks or so.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #conversation, #dating, #micromanaging, #boss, #god work, #just listen, #insulting, #insuate, #relationships

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Woman: My boss keeps micromanaging me. Dilbert: Have you tried doing good work so she doesn't feel the need? Maybe I should just listen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #couples, #dating, #play games, #guess the lie, #say 2 things, #dating games, #obvious things, #relationships

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Woman: Let's play a game. We each say two things about ourselves and the other has to guess which one is a lie. Dilbert: I love to play games like that. My second thing is that I eat food.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #discussion, #researching every state, #engineer, #solemn duty, #stamp out ignorance, #real thing, #googled it, #engineering

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Woman: Please stop researching every statement I make. Dilbert: I can't. As an engineer, it is my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance. Woman: That's not a real thing. Dilbert: See for yourself. I just Googled it.