Raise Hand Comic Strips - Page 48
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
511 Results for Raise Hand
View 471 - 480 results for raise hand comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 03,
2018
Money Can't Buy Happiness
Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.
Sunday February 04,
2018
Tags my value, new assignments, projects, slow walker, rivals in management
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?
Wednesday February 07,
2018
Wally Finds Critical Bug
Tags big business, bug, deception, insider trading, stock, trick
Transcript
Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.
Thursday February 22,
2018
Compensation Based On Happiness
Tags happiness, company culture, raise, wages, job satisfaction, compensation, psychology, money
Transcript
Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.
Saturday June 09,
2018
Wally's Stealth Drone
Tags deception, deceit, drone, technology, invention, fake
Transcript
Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!
Sunday August 26,
2018
Tags Dilbert, the boss, draft, same day, sloth, tardiness
Transcript
The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.
Tuesday October 16,
2018
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless
Saturday December 01,
2018
Workplace Bully
Tags boss, bully, managers & supervisors, office workers, threat, work
Transcript
Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.
Monday December 10,
2018
Carol Raises Money For School
Tags family & parenting, guilt, office, office workers, sales, sarcasm, school
Transcript
Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.
Tuesday December 11,
2018
Selling Chocolate For School
Tags family & parenting, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sales, school, capitalism
Transcript
Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.


