Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 48

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

611 Results for Stop Watch

View 471 - 480 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.

Doomed Smartwatch Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogy, #obliviousness, #assignment, #technology, #invention, #watch, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Brainstorming App Ideas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brainstorming App Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #brainstorm, #idea, #thinking, #criticism, #judge, #judging, #technology, #invention, #judgment, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.

Wally's Slap App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Slap App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app, #slap, #anger, #violence, #smart watch, #invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I created an app for our smart watch that makes the user's hand slap people. Boss: Who would want... Wally: Your eyes say I should pivot.

Health Sensor Predictes Death

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #dying, #death, #health, #health tracker, #heart rate monitor, #ads, #scare, #fitbit, #smart watch, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.

Click Rate On Death Alerts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #technology, #analytics, #smart watch, #app, #ad, #click, #clickbait, #attention, #distraction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.

Going Double Digital

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Going Double Digital - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attention, #distraction, #technology, #watch, #relationships, #dating, #smart phone, #smart watch

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?

Wally Follows His Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Follows His Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #passion, #motivation, #Advice, #misunderstand, #misunderstanding, #attraction, #follow, #following

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm running low on motivation. What can you do for me? Boss: Follow your passion. Woman: Stop following me. Wally: Dream-killer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.