Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 48

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View 471 - 480 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags highlight, staff meeting, wally report, hair styled, usual, hair stylist, used nose trimmer, seemed right, salon brawl

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Wally addresses a meeting, "Now for the highlight of the staff meeting: The Wally Report." Wally continues, "Yesterday I was getting my hair styled as usual." Wally continues, "But this time I forgot to remove my glasses, and what I saw was disturbing." Wally continues, "The stylist was using a nose-hair trimmer to cut my hair!" Wally continues, "I protested. But she said she's been doing my hair that way for years." Wally continues, "She said it just, 'seemed right.'" Wally raises his arms and exclaims, "Tempers flared. I threw some hair gel. A salon brawl broke out!" The Boss asks, "Don't we use the same stylist?" Wally replies, "That would explain why she has a plunger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, not allowed to eat, work cubicles, gulp, chomp chomp, ignores rules, business

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Catbert enters Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, employees are not allowed to eat in cubicles." Alice stuffs the food in her mouth, "Chomp chomp chomp" Catbert exclaims, "I'm going to see that every time I close my eyes!" Alice responds, "You started it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags feasibility analysis, two years, obsolete, project can't succeed, credible in market, stupid things, complete waste, behind schedule

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Dilbert hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "I completed the feasibility analysis." Dilbert continues, "It would take us two years to build a product that will be obsolete one year from now." The Boss replies, "Okay, let's get started." Dilbert says, "Um.. No, the point is project can't succeed." The Boss responds, "We want people to think we're developing this sort of product, so we'll be credible in the market." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to do stupid things until we appear credible?" The Boss replies, "Exactly!" Dilbert walks away and exclaims, "Gaaa!! My life is a complete waste!!" The Boss says to Catbert, "Tomorrow I'll ask him why he's behind schedule." Catbert responds, "Very evil. Nicely done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compost, coot, landscaping, leadership skills, listening, long term potential, performance review, rating is feral, squirrely, thesaurus, words, ratings, new words

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Wally is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Wally, it's time for your annual performance review." As they're walking to the conference room, The Boss says to Wally, "None of my usual words fit your situation." They enter the conference room and take seats. The Boss continues, "So I had to hit the thesaurus pretty hard." The Boss continues, "Your overall rating is 'feral.'" The Boss continues, "Your leadership skills are rated 'squirrely.'" The Boss continues, "And your teamwork is a solid 'coot.'" The Boss continues, "Your long-term potential is to die in the landscaping and become compost." After the meeting, Dilbert asks Wally, "How'd it go?" Wally responds, "I wasn't really listening."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags defrauding stockholders, serve time, rommie, burp, wally and boss, arrested, jail

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The judge says, "The court finds you guilty of defrauding stockholders." The judge's voice continues, "You will serve your time in a place so horrible that it has no name." The Boss looks terrified. A police officer brings The Boss into Wally's cubicle and says, "Here's your roomie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss in jail, morale skyrocketed, profits soared, life had meaning, luck, two days

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The Boss says to Carol, "What happened while I was in jail?" Carol responds, "Morale skyrocketed, profits soared, and for the first time, life had meaning." The Boss walks into his office and thinks, "It's just my luck that I'd miss those two days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags burned down, customer headquaters, employee screws up, performance reviews, demo unit

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags war on waste, wear shirt, honk, blow nose, program

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The Boss picks up a T-Shirt that says "Wow" and exclaims, "Each of you will get a shirt as part of my war on waste program!" Dilbert responds, "I wouldn't wear that shirt at home or in the office, so what good is..." Wally blows his nose loudly into a shirt, "Honk!" Dilbert says, "Oh. Nevermind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stretch first, sprained arm, tv remote control, Wally, doctor, medical

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Wally has his arm in a sling and his head in a cone. He says to Dilbert, "I sprained my arm using the TV remote control." Wally continues, "I tried to change the channel and the volume at the same time." Wally continues, "That's why you should always stretch first." Dilbert turns and asks, "Wally, who's your doctor?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags magnetic cancelation wheel, create free energy, rule the world, technology

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Dilbert is fixing a contraption on the table. He says to Dogbert, "My magnetic- cancellation wheel will create unlimited free energy." Dogbert 's ears fly up and he exclaims, "Buwahaha!!! I will use this technology to rule the world!!!" Dilbert replies, "Um.. It's not yours." Dogbert asks, "What time are you going to bed?"