Before Sleep Comic Strips - Page 48

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

511 Results for Before Sleep

View 471 - 480 results for before sleep comic strips. Discover the best "Before Sleep" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #nuclear, #bomb, #much, #deal, #government, #reduce, #national, #debt, #liberal, #hissy, #fit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks past a man in a trench coat standing on a street corner. The man says, "Psst . . ." The secret agent asks, "Want to buy a nuclear bomb?" Dogbert asks, "How much?" The man replies, "Twenty bucks." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert hands over the money and asks, "Does the government know about this?" The man replies, "I am the government." The man says, "It's the only way we could agree on to reduce the national debt . . . You wouldn't believe how many of these things we have." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk carrying his bomb. Several other people on the street are also carrying bombs. Dogbert thinks, "I'm glad I got mine before some liberal has a hissy fit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #twitch, #feet, #sleep, #dreaming, #chasing, #cars, #saint, #schedule, #lackey, #pushing, #whiney, #ugly, #people, #catholic, #church

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #turtle, #pet, #Dogbert, #complete, #application, #lived, #shell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Before I can consider you as my pet turtle, you must complete this application. Turtle: Okay, if that's your policy... "How long have you lived in your current shell?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #mail boy, #willy, #trick, #challenge, #death

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss's Secretary Carol: You must pass the challenge of death before I put you on the boss's calendar. Bring me the head of Willy the mail boy!!! Dilbert: Hey, Willy, would you like to see a trick?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #humans, #sleep, #eat, #don't, #die, #existential, #crisis

View Transcript

Transcript

Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #nurse, #Dogbert, #laptop, #computer, #before

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I missed my Doctor's appointment. Can I reschedule it? Nurse: Why did you miss it? Dilbert: I was sick. Nurse: Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #stayed, #late, #playing, #computer, #tired, #resisting

View Transcript

Transcript

A police officer stands in Dilbert's door and says, "I have a report that you stayed up late playing with your computer . . ." The officer continues, "Instead of going to sleep like you're supposed to." Dilbert responds, "I wasn't tired." Dilbert stands with his arms and legs spread. The officer frisks Dilbert and says, "He was resisting a rest."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #anti-gravity, #company, #sagging, #skin, #gravity, #formula, #proud

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "I sold my anti-gravity patent to a company who wants to bring the benefits to the world." A television commercial shows an old woman with sagging breasts in the "before" picture and the same woman with upturned breasts in the "after" picture. The announcer asks, "Tired of sagging skin?" The announcer continues, "Get the patented 'Dilbert Anti-Gravity Beauty Formula!'" Dogbert watches the tv advertisement and says, "You must be so proud."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #questions, #booking, #vacation, #money, #hole, #ground, #clyde, #exactly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'll admit, I should have asked more questions before booking our vacation to Clyde Canyon." Dilbert continues, "But it's not as if we're just throwing our vacation money into a . . . a . . ." Dogbert says, "Hole in the ground?" Dilbert responds, "Exactly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #doctor, #treament, #unconventional, #demon, #gaath, #tried, #before

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table. A man with a stethoscope says, "I'd like to try a treatment which may seem unconventional." The man waves his arms and shouts, "Oh hear me, Omdahr, Demon of Gaath, heal this man's arm!!" Dilbert asks, "Has that ever worked?" The man replies, "Beats me. I've never tried it before." A demon's hand reaches toward the man's head.