Being Rich Comic Strips - Page 48
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579 Results for Being Rich
View 471 - 480 results for being rich comic strips. Discover the best "Being Rich" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 16,
1996
Tags billionaire, charity work, contribution, fine arts, software company
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "After I become a billionaire from my software company I'll do a little dance." Dogbert dances on the armrest and sings, "I'm so rich / It's me you hail / If I'm obnoxious / Kiss my tail." Dilbert asks, "Do you plan to do any charity work?" Dogbert replies, "Let me put it this way - you just saw my contribution to the fine arts."
Saturday January 06,
1996
Tags manager ted, planned better, pushed down stairs, soul left body, evil entity, performance reviews
Transcript
The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."
Saturday November 18,
1995
Tags more proactive, fires dilbert, doesn't know why
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "From now on I'm going to be more proactive." The Boss screams, "You're fired!!" Dilbert's tie and hair fly up in shock. Dilbert turns around and asks, "For what??" The Boss replies, "I don't know yet. That's the problem with being proactive."
Monday November 13,
1995
Tags write bug free software, ten dollar bonus, find and fox, right behavior, new minivan, afternoon
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our goal is to write bug-free software. I'll pay a ten-dollar bonus for every bug you find and fix." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement. Dilbert yells, "Yahoo!" Alice yells, "We're rich!" Wally yells, "Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!" The Boss says, "I hope this drives the right behavior." Wally says, "I'm gonna write me a new minivan this afternoon!"
Wednesday September 20,
1995
Tags technical support, gullible, optimistic, buy something, human being
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk with a telephone in his hand. A voice on the phone says, "Press 'One' for sales. Press 'Two' in a hopeless effort to get technical support." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone continues, "Press 'One' for answers to questions you don't have. Press 'Two' if you're gullible and optimistic." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone says, "Press 'Two' if you're willing to buy something just so you can talk to a human being . . ." Dilbert puts the phone on the desk and raises a mallet to strike it.
Thursday September 14,
1995
Tags nest paper towels, call 911, never know, would have worked
Transcript
Dilbert is standing in front of the copying machine. Reaching inside the copier, a man says, "Here's the problem. We've got a whole nest of paper trolls." The man yells as he is being pulled into the machine, "AAIIEE!" Dilbert thinks, "If I call 911 now I'll never know if the lower paper tray would have worked."
Monday July 17,
1995
Tags bring to read, book of tips, new computer golf game, reading book, computer simulation, almost sport, non organic life form, driving little cart
Transcript
Liz and Dilbert are seated beneath a tree reading books. She asks him, "What did you bring to read?" Dilbert responds, "It's a book of tips for my new computer golf game." Liz comments, "So . . . you're reading a book . . . about a computer simulation . . . of an activity that's ALMOST a sport . . ." Liz continues, "That's about as close as you can get to being a non-organic life form." Dilbert says, "This chapter is about driving the little cart."
Thursday June 22,
1995
Tags standardize, one type computer, mac user, deviant users, macintosh, unix, holy wars, gustav
Transcript
Ratbert, the Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I recommend standardizing on one type of computer for the office." Ratbert continues, "We must identify and eliminate the deviant users of Macintosh, Unix and . . . God help us . . . OS/2 Warp." Dilbert glares at him. The caption reads, "The Holy Wars Begin." Ratbert interrogates a man being held by police. Ratbert says, "Don't lie to me, Gustav! You're a stinkin' Mac user!!"
Saturday June 17,
1995
Tags prodcutivity, moving, cubcile, phone, comaputer, disconnected, boxed, lost, abandoned pretense, loser
Transcript
The Boss looks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I see signs of productivity here. I'm moving you to another cubicle." The Boss continues, "Your phone and computer will be disconnected for weeks. Your files will be boxed and lost." Dilbert's hair stands on end as he says, "Good Lord, you've abandoned all pretense of being on our side!!" The Boss responds, "Loser."
Monday June 12,
1995
Tags two week retreat, mountains, management retreat, four star hotle, no room, brag, employees, glib, business
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Have fun working. I'm off to the two-week management retreat in the mountains." The Boss continues, "It's so sad you can't come. I guess there isn't room at the four-star hotel." As he flees from books and folders being hurled at him, the Boss thinks, "Now I know why it's called a retreat."