Business Failures/Bankruptcies Comic Strips - Page 48
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1000 Results for Business Failures/Bankruptcies
View 471 - 480 results for business failures/bankruptcies comic strips. Discover the best "Business Failures/Bankruptcies" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 11,
2019
Saying You Are Dumb
Tags business, job, change, technology, dumb, imply, product
Transcript
dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday December 10,
2019
Adding Insult To Injury
Tags business, tech support, customer, calls, interface, reboot, idiot
Transcript
boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!
Saturday December 07,
2019
Consider Polyamory
Tags psychology, relationships, office work, polyamory, girl friend, progress, business
Transcript
alice: have you ever considered trying polyamory? instead of not having one girl-friend, you could not have two. dilbert: that would feel like progress. alice: you're welcome.
Friday December 06,
2019
Others Have Failed
Tags office workers, idea, technology, rodent, insult, cheese, business
Transcript
male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese
Thursday December 05,
2019
Morning Meetings
Tags business, managers & supervisors, meetings, morning, effectiveness, afternoon, complain
Transcript
dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.
Monday December 02,
2019
Tina Enters Coma
Tags office workers, business, technology, write, body, language, read
Transcript
tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...
Sunday December 01,
2019
Dilbert Murders Robots
Tags office workers, business, robot, technology, human resources, bad behavior, reboot, murder, plot, erase
Transcript
dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.
Saturday November 30,
2019
What Winning Feels Like
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, regression, analysis, failure, business, common
Transcript
dilbert: i did a regression analysis to find out which variables are common to all of our failures. wally: it's me isn't it? dilbert pointing to boss: no, it's him. wally: is this what winning feels like?
Friday November 29,
2019
Mindless Tasks
Tags managers & supervisors, business, despondent, tasks, mindless
Transcript
dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.
Thursday November 28,
2019
Humans Getting Wiser
Tags business, psychology, humans, dumb, selfish, wise, interact, people
Transcript
dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

