Pay These Days Comic Strips - Page 48

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476 Results for Pay These Days

View 471 - 476 results for pay these days comic strips. Discover the best "Pay These Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Slippery Slope

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Slippery Slope - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #slippery, #slope, #approval, #database, #cosmetic, #surgery, #insult

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dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body

Wally Uses Deep Fake

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Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

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dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Making World Better Place

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Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm

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boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.