Ted Fired Comic Strips - Page 48

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

559 Results for Ted Fired

View 471 - 480 results for ted fired comic strips. Discover the best "Ted Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flash, #camera, #danger, #death, #injury, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The flash on our smart phone prototype is so strong that it's dangerous." The boss says, "I'd better show this to our CEO." Dilbert says, "Is that really a good idea?" Dogbert says, "Now pose with Ted so I can get a group shot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #meeting, #ridiculous, #idea, #metaphysics, #pointing, #firing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're paying too much taxes. Bring me a physicist and a tax attorney." Dogbert says, "I want to incorporate in another dimension. Make it happen." Man says, "Somewhere in the multiverse it's already done." Dogbert says, "I like you. The lawyer guy is fired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worried, #bragging, #money, #foreclosure, #angry, #insensitive

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says, "I can?t afford my mortgage because of my pay cut. The bank will take the house." Asok says, "I saved a bundle by being a renter. I should buy your house for next to nothing." Asok says, "Too soon?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #firing, #launching, #spring, #ridiculous, #surprised, #worried, #scared, #evil, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "My old policy was to have security immediately escort out anyone I fired." Sproing! Catbert says, "But that left too much time for weeping."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #ridicule, #cruel, #mean, #rude, #angry, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "With your skills, you have a variety of career options." Catbert says, "For example, you could flap your arms and fly to a planet that places a high value on morons." Catbert says, "Etcetera."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #job, #work, #scheme, #guessing, #cruel, #mean, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Ted, your new responsibility is to keep the pigeons from defiling our ledges." Ted says, "Are you hoping this awful assignment will cause me to quit?" The boss says, "Not at all." Ted says, "Are you hoping I'll fall out a window?" The boss says, "Maybe you should stop guessing now,"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment, #beard, #mislead, #book, #worker, #background check, #innocent, #screaming

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, I just got the results of your security clearance background check." The Boss says, "Homeland security ordered me to beat you to death with our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But?.I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss request, #help coworker, #own work, #projects, #projects suffer, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to help Ted on his project. Dilbert: If Ted's project succeeds, who will get the credit? The Boss: Ted will. It's his project. Dilbert: What if it fails? The Boss: That would be your fault for not helping him enough. Dilbert: If I spend my time helping Ted, my own projects will suffer. The only way this makes sense is if my projects are unimportant and so am I. The Boss: If it makes you feel any better, Ted and his projects are unimportant too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agreement, #bad news, #euphoric feeling, #harsh landing, #illusion of progress, #lasts a minute, #momentary sweetness, #reacts, #spoiler, #planning meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Okay, we have a good plan forward. This meeting is adjourned. Oooh!!!" "AaaaH!!!" Asok: What is that?"AAAH!! Dilbert: She's tasting the sweet nectar of the illusion in progress. It's that euphoric feeling you get between the time you make a plan and the time some moron thwarts it. AAAH!!! It can last anywhere from less than a minute to as much as a minute. Wally: Ted won't meet with us because someone told him that you told someone else he was an obstacle. Alice: GRRRRR!!! Dilbert: The landing is harsh."