Coffee Meetings Comic Strips - Page 49

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

540 Results for Coffee Meetings

View 481 - 490 results for coffee meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Four Hour Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Double Standard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Double Standard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #Women, #Men, #curse, #cursing, #swearing, #swear, #yelling, #fair, #fairness, #equality, #double-standard

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There's a double-standard. Men can shout and curse and no one blinks. But if I say one stern word to someone, they call me "emotional." Dilbert: I've seen you make men cry during meetings. Alice: Only the wusses.

Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #happiness, #work, #labor, #employee, #stimulation, #boredom, #interest, #human resources, #psychology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.

Forgetting Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forgetting Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #absent mindedness, #forgetting, #therapy, #irony, #psychology, #psychiatry

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.

Charging Client For Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Doubling Percieved Lifespan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doubling Percieved Lifespan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #time, #boredom, #sarcasm, #lifespan, #life, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Researchers discovered a way to double the perceived length of a human's life. It's something called "meetings." Boss: Can we start now? Dilbert: I though we were already an hour into it.

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #secret, #gratitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet, #viral video, #awkward, #interaction, #insult, #cell phone, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you see the viral video of the kitten riding the zebra? Dilbert: I know where this is heading and I don't like it. You're going to spend the next ten minutes looking for that video on your phone while we wait. Boss: It will only take a second. Dilbert: And so it begins. Boss: Here it is. No, wait. Dang. Wrong one. Okay, here it is. Oops, no, wrong one. Narrator: Ten minutes later. Boss: What do you think? Dilbert: I can't see it because you keep moving. Boss: I would let you hold it, but I don't want your germs on my phone. Dilbert: There are a lot of unsatisfying parts to this interaction. Wally: Now my coffee is cold.