Asok Comic Strips - Page 49

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

964 Results for Asok

View 481 - 490 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll be right back after I return these dishes to the cafeteria." "Whoa, whoa!" "Winners don't return dishes to the cafeteria." "Then how do the dishes get back?" "You must use your power of low standards." "Just place the dishes on the floor and wait for a loser with high standards." "Gaaa! Dishes on the floor!" "Once again I have to clean up after slobs!" "It is like a miracle." "Now ask her to bring you back a yogurt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diet, expect, hysterical, laughing, sharp focus, expectations, outburst, health

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I should warn you that I'm on a diet and might not have the sharp focus that you've come to expect from me. Asok: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "I thought of something funny totally on my own."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quagmire, alien, highly advanced intelligence, genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Alien: I am an alien with highly advanced intelligence. I have come to share my genius with this company. Asok: Me too. But they don't like that sort of thing here. It's a quagmire."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags awards showcase, buy display case, awards store, unethical filling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Asok, your assignment is to buy a display case for our awards. Then go to the store and buy a bunch of awards because we don't have any. Asok: The next one is for 'Best Unethical Filling of an Awards Showcase.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting staff, chain of command, fake hone calls, hanging around office, waiting to get off phone, weirdo, go away

View Transcript

Transcript

Ned: I enjoyed meeting your staff. Keep up the good work. Dilbert: This isn't my staff. I report to the guy who reports to you." Ned: Really? Which one of you reports to me?" Well, that explains why you keep hanging around outside my office. The Boss: I've been going to your office for years, waiting for you to get off the phone so I could talk to you. Ned: I've been making fake phone calls for years, hoping the weirdo outside my office would go away." Keep up the good work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new philosophy, a bias for action, six sigma program, iso certification

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our new philosophy is 'a bias for action'. Dilbert: Are we eliminating our Six-Sigma program, the budget cycle, ISO certification, and our approval processes? The Boss: Can I get back to you on that? Dilbert: Sure. No rush.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assigning balme, eventual failure, wrong vendor, alienate the client, rendered mott, by noncompoops

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'd like to kick off the project by assigning blame for its eventual failure. Dilbert: Shouldn't we do that after the project is over? Dogbert: I see no reason to wait. Dilbert: Well...okay. Our boss will make us use the wrong vendor. Wally won't do any work. Alice will alienate the client, and Ted is generally worthless. Dilbert: In summary, my excellent work will be rendered moot by nincompoops. Asok: Do you even work here? Dogbert: No, I was just in the neighborhood.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stretch goals, goals for year, set higher

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I wrote out my goals for the coming year. I set them higher than I can achieve because our boss said it's good to have stretch goals. Alice: Well, more for us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags travel budget, training budget, training support, software busdget, training, mandatory software upgarde, brains

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our travel budget is shot. The Boss: We'll take money out of the training budget. Dilbert: We need training to support our new product. The Boss: We'll use the software budget for training. Asok: We need to do a mandatory software upgrade. Fine. Move some money from teh travel budget to the software budget. The Boss: Geez, you people do nothing but complain. Meanwhile I'm managing my brains out. Alice: I wondered what happened to them. The boss: Happened to what?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, pointing, everyone else, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Who needs a little management help on their project? "You could almost feel the teamwork in the air."