Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 49
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 481 - 490 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 11,
2008
Tags design, real world, uninformed criticisms, meeting, boss, business
Transcript
The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.
Friday January 18,
2008
Tags board of directors, underling, powerpoint, slides, preoccupied, day jobs, mistresses, bonus, meeting, ceo, all in favor, business
Transcript
CEP presents to the board of directors CEO: An underling made these powerpoint slides and I don't understand them. But it doesn't matter because all of you are too preoccupied with your day jobs and mistresses to pay attention. Who votes to give me a huge bonus just to end this meeting?" Aye Aye Aye
Sunday January 20,
2008
Tags human resources, hr person, evil director, bad attitude, project, corpse of misery, donated brain, gum museum, mental imbalance, clarity, irrational, employee moral festival, won meeting, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: Your boss says you have a bad attitude. Dilbert: That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum. If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance. My bad attitude is proof that I am thinking clearly. Are you going to compliment me on my clarity or demand I be irrational? CatBert: I'm putting you in charge of the employee morale festival. Dilbert: I have a sudden urge to grab you by the tail and beat myself to death. Catbert: That's how I know I won the meeting.
Tuesday January 22,
2008
Tags configure software, consultant, doohickey, vendor, business
Transcript
The Boss: Our vendor sent us a consultant to help configure the software. We can tell how important we are by looking at the consultant they assigned to us. RatBert: The word that comes to mind is doohickey."
Thursday January 31,
2008
Tags dog, financial planner, troglodyte, Advice, soften up, meeting, insult, yell, scream, put down, animals, business
Transcript
Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: Investing is far too complicated for your tiny brain. You are a financial troglodytle!!!" Man: Do I get some advice now? Dogbert: No, our first meeting is just to soften you up.
Saturday February 02,
2008
Tags meeting, boss, raise, political capital, business
Transcript
The Boss: If I try to give you the raise you deserve, the people above me will just reduce it. Alice: Maybe you could use some of your political capital to argue my case. The Boss: Maybe not.
Thursday February 07,
2008
Tags boss, distraction, meeting, move, office, phone ring, rug catch fire, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."
Wednesday February 13,
2008
Tags consultant, virtualization, project, employees, heavy thinking, obstacles, progress, business
Transcript
The Boss: I hired a consultant to help with our virtualization project because I don't trust employees with anything important. Dogbert: I will do the heavy thinking while each of you performs your usual duties as obstacles to progress. Dilbert: You said this is my project! Dogbert: I'll let him unplug something.
Monday February 25,
2008
Tags dinosuar, law suit, no interuptions, prior employee, slapped, slapped with a suit, take off, business suit
Transcript
Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.
Friday February 29,
2008
Tags 300 iq, computer, convincing people, desk, evil director, human resources, nobel prize, track record, unix, technology, business
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of human resources, posts a job opening. Requirements: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 300, two centuries of unix experience and a track record of winning nobel prizes. "90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs."


