Evil Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 49

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

558 Results for Evil Human Resources

View 481 - 490 results for evil human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Evil Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human, #human nature, #arguing, #argument, #social media, #logic, #critic, #troll, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.

Resources Complain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

No Walking Away

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #policy, #conversation, #ideas, #management, #strategy, #politeness, #etiquette, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

Alice Dates Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Dates Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #human resources, #company policy, #robot, #relationships, #free will, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.

Raising Cyborgs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #Women, #free will, #control, #robot, #personality, #relationships, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.

Evil Orc

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Orc - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fantasy, #virtual reality, #work, #boss, #orc, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.

Failing The Robot Test

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Failing The Robot Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sentience, #robot, #human, #artificial intelligence, #turing test, #voting, #ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #climate change, #carbon dioxide, #emissions, #global warming, #environmental issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Exposition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #brain, #nanotechnology, #microchip, #ego, #storytelling, #exposition

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

Immersive Vr Is Immortal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Immersive Vr Is Immortal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #mortality, #immortal, #human, #ai, #artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.