Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 49
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 481 - 490 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 09,
2008
Tags company priorites, intern, meeting, over thinking, priorities, projects, co workers, business
Transcript
The Boss: And those are the company priorities for the coming year. Any questions? Asok: Should I be concerned that none of my projects relate to any of those priorities? Wally: You're over thinking again. Asok: Sorry.
Tuesday January 15,
2008
Tags corner, cubilce, door, fantasy, nutrients, office, replacement, giant mushroom
Transcript
The Boss: Now that you're out of the loop, your new cubicle will be a giant mushroom. It's a pleasant environment except when the mushroom gets its nutrients. wally: Nutrients?
Monday February 04,
2008
Tags travel expenses, meal costs, liar or worse, round numbers, finance troll, papers, office, computer, desk, technology
Transcript
Finance troll: Your travel expenses are rejected because all of your meal costs are round numbers. Either you are a liar or worse. Dilbert: I decide what to order based on what totals to a round number after a 15% tip. Finance: That's worse.
Thursday February 07,
2008
Tags boss, distraction, meeting, move, office, phone ring, rug catch fire, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."
Friday February 08,
2008
Tags five year plan, five minutes, office, room, conference room
Transcript
The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"
Monday March 03,
2008
Tags borrow pen, company like family, culture, search computer, sign docuemnt, test for dugs, trust and respect, manipulate
Transcript
CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"
Tuesday March 11,
2008
Tags jesus, leader, team leader, in need, 12 people, upgrade systems, lunch meeting, bed feelings, savior, office
Transcript
It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."
Tuesday March 18,
2008
Tags pessimistic co workers, crushed soul, meat clothes, rain soul, less fortunate, volunteering
Transcript
Dilbert: My pessimistic coworkers have crushed my soul. Now I am nothing but meat with clothes. Garbageman: You can regain your soul by volunteering to help the less fortunate. Dilbert: Who is less fortunate than me? Garbageman: Anyone you date."
Sunday March 23,
2008
Tags doctors office, doctors note, sick, doesn't believe, waiting room, ethical, believe, lie, nine diseases, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I need a doctor's note for the two days of work I missed." Doctor: You look healthy to me. Dilbert: I got better. Doctor: how do I know you were sick? Dilbert: The note just needs to say I was sick. Doctor: so you want me to lie?" It's not a lie. I really was sick. Medical Doctor: If your company doesn't trust you, why should I?" Dilbert: Good point. What if I let the people in your waiting room cough on me? Then you can write a note saying I have what they have. Doctor: As long as I didn't recommend it. I think that passes ethical muster." The Boss: You have nine diseases?" Dilbert: That have names.
Monday April 14,
2008
Tags cell phone, complaints, private office, threat, technology
Transcript
Alice : Loud Howard insists on using his speak-phone in his cubicle. You have to do something about it. The Boss: "I'll move him to a private office that just became available. Problem solved. Alice: I need to punch you until we both forget what happened here." Asok: Gaaa!!! Dilbert: Spare the glasses.


