Shake Hands Comic Strips - Page 49

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485 Results for Shake Hands

View 481 - 485 results for shake hands comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hands" comics from Dilbert.com.

Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless

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Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #team, #meeting, #lazy, #useless, #propose, #marinate, #bile, #raise, #hands, #grunt

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Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone on this team except me is lazy and useless. I propose that I do all of the work for the team. While the rest of you marinate in your own bile. All in

Alice Won't Shake Hands

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Alice Won't Shake Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #presentation, #germs

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Transcript

the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?

Complaints About Wally

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Complaints About Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #productivity

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Transcript

the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.

Dogbert Narrates

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Dogbert Narrates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #narrator

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dilbert: hi, i'm dilbert, and this is my narrator. dogbert: bob wondered when was the last time dilbert had washed his hands. it was a good question. bob: what? dilbert: just ignore the fore-shadowing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #quit, #system

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ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.