Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 49

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1000 Results for Avoid Work

View 481 - 490 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Useless Mansplainers

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Useless Mansplainers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mansplainer, relations between the sexes, sexism, Women, engineers, programmers, furstration

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Alice: I can't get any work done because my project team is a bunch of useless mansplainers. Why do men feel the need to explain things to me when I know more than they do? Boss: Let me explain it to you, Alice. Men like to show off and feel important. Alice: Stop it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, work, google, big business, projects, ideas, innovation

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CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.

Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates

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Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social interaction, social media, coders, coding, engineers, friends, work ethic, social life, technology

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Dilbert: I invented an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Here's a guy with no friend, no hobbies, no family, and hundreds of high-quality code submissions to GitHub. Wait, that's me. Boss: Do you have any apps about other people?

Wall The Company Taint

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Wall The Company Taint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, manager, taint, success

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Wally: You're looking at the new vice president of zombie projects. The projects that will neither succeed nor be canceled are transferred to me so the other VP's avoid their taint. Alice: I guess that makes you the company's taint. Wally: I wear that label proudly.

Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed

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Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mentor, mentoring, protege, wages, executives, ceos, compensation, work ethic, success, money

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CEO: I've been mentoring you for a week. Do you feel different? Wally: Yes. Spending time with you makes me feel underpaid. CEO: And that makes you hungry to succeed? Wally: I don't even see how those things are connected.

Wally Is Ceo's Pet

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Wally Is Ceo's Pet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad influence, mentoring, mentor, protege, laziness, work ethic, changes

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Alice: How's it feel to be the CEO's pet employee? Wally: We call it mentoring. Alice: Has it changed you? Wally: No, but he seems more useless lately. Alice: I guess there's no backflow preventer on mentoring.

Learning To Avoid Responsibility

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Learning To Avoid Responsibility - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mentoring, mentor, mentors, protege, criticism, responsibility, Advice

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CEO: No matter how much I mentor you, you still act the same. Wally: That's because you're a terrible mentor. You owe me an apology for wasting my time. CEO: I don't think the problem is on my end. Wally: Are you teaching me how to avoid taking responsibility?

Ceo Agrees To Mentor Wally

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Ceo Agrees To Mentor Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, mentor, mentors, mentoring, protege, power

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Wally: Will you be my mentor? CEO: Yes I will! You are wise to ask because it shows you have the drive to succeed. Wally: Exactly! Boss: Give me one good reason I shouldn't fire you. Wally: My mentor is your boss.

Wally Will Work When He Is Dead

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Wally Will Work When He Is Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death, strategy, work ethic, work, philosophy, perfect system, medical

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Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, compliment, compliments, insult, insulting, work ethic, technical skills, perfect attendance, risk averse, no social life, irrational needs, code writing puppet

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Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!