Ceo Comic Strips - Page 49

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627 Results for Ceo

View 481 - 490 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flash, java script, website, fast guy in tights, movie about coffee, code words, remember, technology

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The Boss: Then we program the web site using a fast guy in tights and a movie about coffee. "Correct me if I'm wrong." Dilbert: "We use flash and java script." "I said 'IF'!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good will, purchased, redesigned headquarters, horses rump, executive suite

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Dogbert: "Now that I have purchased your company's goodwill, I plan to make some changes." "I redesigned your headquarters building." CEO: "What's this part that looks like a horse's rump?" Dogbert: "That's the entrance to the executive suite."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goodwill, balance sheet, mysetrious buyer, million dollars, job satisaction

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CEO: We have too much goodwill on the balance sheet. I decided to sell some of it. "A mysterious buyer offered a million dollars for the right to decrease our goodwill." Dogbert: "You might have a bit less job satisfaction next week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock holder meeting, gadflies, stock price dropped, sleep at night

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Stockholder meeting CEO: Do we have any questions from Gadflies? You earned 72 million dollars while our stick price dropped nine percent. How can you sleep at night? CEO: ZZZZZ

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, invested, wallpapering fog, ideas

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CEO: I didn't understand anything you just said. Go away. The Boss: "Our CEO doesn't like your idea. He didn't say why." Dilbert: "Do you ever feel like you're wallpapering fog?" Wally: "I don't get that invested."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags green consultant, rm your suv, hybrid cars, stop using fuel, save earth, other people sacrifice

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Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Try ramming your SUV into hybrid cars." "That should stop them from using fuel altogether." "You can't save the Earth unless you're willing to make other people sacrifice." CEO: "I'm in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags passion for job, ceo's visit, meeting, condescending, rented mules, intimidate, corproartions, afford luxury items, ping pong table, no raise, offend, belitte, pay dosparity, slavery, business

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CEO Visit CEO: "It's important that you have a passion for your job." "For example, my passion involves working you like rented mules so I can afford to purchase luxury items." "I bought a ping-pong table with the raise you didn't get."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, go fatser, set tone, control, opinions are treason, name calling, intimidation, corporations, little guy, meeting, tone of intimidation, condescending, business

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CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo's meeting, boos, Dilbert, status on technology, platform migration, nothing to hide, 100 drunken clowns, beed in their underpants, decline in morale, pretending tow ork, get fired, hide things

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CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, eliminate dept, what do we do, explain things, morons

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The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"