Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 49

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1000 Results for Office Politics

View 481 - 490 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, optimism, rested, feeling, never happened, flow, dance, sing, light, work, office, employee, psychology

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Dilbert: Happy, happy, happy. Dilbert: I'm enjoying a bubble of optimism because I'm feeling rested and no one has been awful to me all day! Wally: How long does it usually last? Dilbert: I don't know. It's never happened before!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clean mold, refrogerator, undelings, winning, testoterone, priority

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Dilbert: I read that winning at anything boosts your testosterone. Boss: I need one of you underlings to clean the mold out of the office fridge. That's your top priority today. Wally: What's this "winning" I keep hearing about?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criminals, office workers, work ethic, cesspool, horrible office conditions, better choices, career criminal

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Dilbert: What's your son doing here? Coworker: Today is 'Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day." The idea is to show kids how horrible it is to work in an office. That way, they can make better choices and avoid a life like ours. Dilbert: Just out of curiosity, who told you this is "Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day?" Coworker: Wally. Oh. Child: I've decided to become a career criminal. Dilbert: Good luck with all of that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags efficiency experts, employee tracking, wandering aorund, meetings, restroom trips, employee monitoring, wrist monitor, low levels of caffeine, typos up, beat authority figure, tablet computer, danger signals, workloads

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Boss: Okay, let's see how employee 3452378 is doing. According to our employee tracking system, you have wandered around the office 17% more than the average employee. Dilbert: Maybe I have more meetings than most people. Boss: No, most of the difference is in restroom trips and detours past an attractive woman's desk. Your wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for your workload. That's probably why your typos are up 9% and you have looked away from your workstation nine more times than last month. Now your wrist monitor indicated a desire to bean an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Phew! Your brain's wuss subroutine just kicked in. The danger has passed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags correct data, incorrect data, interactions with boss, questioning, totally accurate, desk, computer, office, technology

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Boss: Are you sure the data you gave me is correct? Dilbert: I've been giving you incorrect data for years. This is the first time you've asked. Boss: What? Dilbert: I said the data is totally accurate.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, origin story, company, need, various things, clear, boss, request, office, request secretary, write up story, business

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Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business

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Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaints, skunk opera, analogies, understand analogies, employees complain, office, cubicle, human relations

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Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boredom, conversation, plantkiller, data, kill plants, office plants

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Alice: Hey, plantkiller, do you have the ata I asked for? Coworker: Plantkiller? Who calls me that? Alice: Everyone does. Your stories are so boring that you kill all office plants within earshot. Give me a hand signal when you're done. Coworker: This reminds me of the time I took the stairs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, organized as holacracy, dynamic governance, transparent operations, harnessing, conscious capacity, wander around, dynamically, business

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Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I have no idea what I should be doing. Catbert: Holacracy involves dynamic governance, transparent operations, and harnessing your conscious capacity. Boss: That sounds like "wander around." Catbert: Try to do it dynamically.