Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 49
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1000 Results for Office Politics
View 481 - 490 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 13,
2014
Tags happiness, optimism, rested, feeling, never happened, flow, dance, sing, light, work, office, employee, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: Happy, happy, happy. Dilbert: I'm enjoying a bubble of optimism because I'm feeling rested and no one has been awful to me all day! Wally: How long does it usually last? Dilbert: I don't know. It's never happened before!
Wednesday June 11,
2014
Tags clean mold, refrogerator, undelings, winning, testoterone, priority
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that winning at anything boosts your testosterone. Boss: I need one of you underlings to clean the mold out of the office fridge. That's your top priority today. Wally: What's this "winning" I keep hearing about?
Sunday June 08,
2014
Tags criminals, office workers, work ethic, cesspool, horrible office conditions, better choices, career criminal
Transcript
Dilbert: What's your son doing here? Coworker: Today is 'Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day." The idea is to show kids how horrible it is to work in an office. That way, they can make better choices and avoid a life like ours. Dilbert: Just out of curiosity, who told you this is "Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day?" Coworker: Wally. Oh. Child: I've decided to become a career criminal. Dilbert: Good luck with all of that.
Sunday May 11,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, employee tracking, wandering aorund, meetings, restroom trips, employee monitoring, wrist monitor, low levels of caffeine, typos up, beat authority figure, tablet computer, danger signals, workloads
Transcript
Boss: Okay, let's see how employee 3452378 is doing. According to our employee tracking system, you have wandered around the office 17% more than the average employee. Dilbert: Maybe I have more meetings than most people. Boss: No, most of the difference is in restroom trips and detours past an attractive woman's desk. Your wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for your workload. That's probably why your typos are up 9% and you have looked away from your workstation nine more times than last month. Now your wrist monitor indicated a desire to bean an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Phew! Your brain's wuss subroutine just kicked in. The danger has passed.
Wednesday May 07,
2014
Tags correct data, incorrect data, interactions with boss, questioning, totally accurate, desk, computer, office, technology
Transcript
Boss: Are you sure the data you gave me is correct? Dilbert: I've been giving you incorrect data for years. This is the first time you've asked. Boss: What? Dilbert: I said the data is totally accurate.
Friday April 18,
2014
Tags conversation, origin story, company, need, various things, clear, boss, request, office, request secretary, write up story, business
Transcript
Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.
Tuesday April 08,
2014
Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!
Friday April 04,
2014
Tags complaints, skunk opera, analogies, understand analogies, employees complain, office, cubicle, human relations
Transcript
Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.
Tuesday March 25,
2014
Tags boredom, conversation, plantkiller, data, kill plants, office plants
Transcript
Alice: Hey, plantkiller, do you have the ata I asked for? Coworker: Plantkiller? Who calls me that? Alice: Everyone does. Your stories are so boring that you kill all office plants within earshot. Give me a hand signal when you're done. Coworker: This reminds me of the time I took the stairs.
Tuesday March 04,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, organized as holacracy, dynamic governance, transparent operations, harnessing, conscious capacity, wander around, dynamically, business
Transcript
Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I have no idea what I should be doing. Catbert: Holacracy involves dynamic governance, transparent operations, and harnessing your conscious capacity. Boss: That sounds like "wander around." Catbert: Try to do it dynamically.


