Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 49

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Waste Time

View 481 - 490 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags man, sitting, meeting, contract, reading, skipping, failure, inefficient, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My company typically takes about four months to negotiate this type of contract." Dilbert says, "And during that time there's a 100% chance that we'll change our minds or you'll discontinue this product." Dilbert says, "Shall we save some time by declaring failure and blaming each other?" Man says, "I gave up before I even handed you the contract."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, wings, halo, lying, disappearing, work, side effects, medication, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Please ignore my wings and halo. They are side effects from my prescription meds." Dilbert says, "Anyway, my pointy-haired boss asked me to tell you that we will finish the prototype on time and on budget." Woman says, "That is one bad tell you got there." Poof! Poof!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, work, task, assignment, excuses, ridicule, avoiding, hopeless, defeated, annoyed, complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Could you make these changes in the database? It will only take five minutes."Man says, "Ooh, I don't know?" Dilbert says, "Wait!" Dilbert says, "Are you planning to spend ten minutes explaining why you don't have five minutes to do this task?" Dilbert says, "Or are you so incompetent that a five-minute task will take an hour?" Dilbert says, "Or are you limited by company policy because you're a feckless waste of carbon?" Dilbert says, "Or are you the agreeable but unorganized type who will say yes, lose my note, and forget who asked?" Man says, "I was planning to tell you this doesn't need to be done and refuse to change my position even after you give me good reasons." Dilbert says, "Experience is just another word for losing hope."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wanting, award, scheme, planning, lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I want to win a humanitarian award." Dogbert says, "But I don't want to touch anyone who is sick. Or poor. Or unattractive." The Boss says, "Do you want to donate your time or money?" Dogbert says, "I'm hoping to donate your time and the stockholders' money."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, project, complaining, time, work, cruel, mean

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "I need you to write a white paper for an industry trade association." Dilbert says, "Fine, but that will leave me with less time to work on my project." The Boss says, "Do the trade association stuff during your unproductive time." Dilbert says, "What exactly is my 'Unproductive time'?" The Boss says ,"It goes by many names, including sleep, leisure and healthy lifestyle." Dilbert says, "If I do less of those things it will reduce the quality of my life below the point at which good hygiene has any utility." The Boss says, "I don't want to make out with your. I just want you to work harder for no extra money." The Boss thinks, "I spend too much time explaining the obvious."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, project, procrastination, excuses, stupidity, lying

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Wally, are you done with your project yet?" Wally says, "I'll be done next week." The Boss says ,"You've said, 'Next week' for seven weeks in a row. What makes you think I'm going to believe it this time?" Wally says, "The first six times?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, talking, angry, annoyed, stupidity, ridicule

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I thought it was time for us to have a little mentoring session." Alice says, "How does this make sense when I'm more capable than you in every imporant way?" The Boss says, "Maybe we can skip the part where I say you need to be more confident and speak out at meetings." Alice says, "Duh,"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, resources, problem, ridiculous, stupidity, bureaucracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need more resources on my project." The Boss says, "I'll give you someone from Alice's project." Dilbert says, "Then Alice won't have enough resources." The boss says, "I can only solve one problem at a time." Alice says, "Did he solve your problem?" Dilbert says, "I'm going to say yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telling, story, bored, annoyed, asking, rude, stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "And that was the last time I yanked a cable just to find out what would happen." Woman says, "How many inane stories do I have to hear before I can speak to someone who knows something?" The boss says, "She's a story hater."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, meeting, explaining, project, annoyed, angry, lazy, wasting, time, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."