Brilliant Employee Comic Strips - Page 49
527 Results for Brilliant Employee
View 481 - 490 results for brilliant employee comic strips. Discover the best "Brilliant Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 03, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.
Share March 22, 2017's comic on:
Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.
Share May 28, 2017's comic on:
Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.
Share May 22, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?
Share June 28, 2017's comic on:
Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?
Share July 05, 2017's comic on:
Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Share July 06, 2017's comic on:
Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.
Share July 07, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.
Share August 07, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...
Share August 08, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm glad I started wearing an employee body cam. Here's a video of you yesterday, saying the opposite of what you told me today. Boss: Oops! I accidentally deleted it. Dilbert: Luckily, I have seven hundred backups.