Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 49
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 481 - 490 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 01,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, survive, plane, crash, worcestershire sauce, whack, cannabal, meat, tenderizer, wonder, body
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert, a captain and several people stand on a snow-covered mountain. Off in the distance is a crashed airplane. A man in a pilot's uniform says, "I've survived several jet crashes this year, so listen to me." The man continues, "The best way to prevent frostbite is to rub Worcestershire sauce on your body and whack yourself repeatedly with a meat tenderizer." As people pour sauce on themselves Dilbert thinks, "I wonder why he had enough of these for everybody?"
Thursday July 02,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, captain, bob, eat, survivors, cannibal, mountain, village, message, snowball, snow
Transcript
Dogbert, Dilbert, a man in a pilot's uniform and another man stand on a snow-covered mountain where their airplane crashed. Dogbert says, "Captain Bob, I think you're planning to eat the other survivors." Captain Bob replies, "Ha ha! Too bad your only hope is to send a message to the village at the base of this mountain." Dogbert throws a snowball at the captain, knocking him off his feet. Dogbert says, "When you roll into town, tell them Dogbert sent you."
Monday July 06,
1992
Tags friendship, strategy, Dogbert, financial, advisor, live, lifelong, bond, trust, money, churn
Transcript
Dogbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "Hi! I want to be your financial advisor." The man continues, "I've come to live with you. We'll eventually form a lifelong bond of trust and friendship." Dogbert says angrily, "I liked better when you guys just took our money." The man says, "I recommend a strategy called 'Churn.'"
Friday July 10,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, Family, saving & investment, stock market, money, invest, stock, options, broker, Fun, snide, comments
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I invested all of my money in stock options." Dogbert asks, "What's an option?" Dilbert explains, "It's complicated . . . Basically, you give your money to a stock broker and he buys nice things for his family." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any snide comments?" Dogbert replies, "No, you took all the fun out of it."
Saturday July 11,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, happiness, money, wrong, invested, options, stock, company, desk, zymed, takeover, rumors, idiots
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."
Monday July 13,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, stock market, fortune, work, member, society, workplace, satisfying, gloat
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm going to work like a regular guy even though I just made a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "That's because I still want to be a useful and contributing member of society." Dilbert continues, "And of course, the workplace is the second most satisfying place to gloat." Dogbert asks, "Are you done here yet?"
Tuesday July 14,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, rich people, wealth, tragedy, lightning, flash, clear day, meteor
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I can't help thinking that my new wealth will lead to tragedy." Dilbert continues, "It seems like rich people always have horrible tragedies." Dogbert asks, "Like what?" There is a flash of lightning. Dilbert's clothes have been burned and his body is charred. Dilbert replies, ". . . Like being struck by lightning on a clear day." Dogbert points to the sky and shouts, "Incoming meteor!!"
Wednesday July 15,
1992
Tags Dilbert, stock market, Dogbert, bad luck, tragedy, fortune, joy, pain, compensate, good luck, friend
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert's head is bandaged and his arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I've had nothing but tragedy since making a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "Sometimes, Dogbert, it seems like our lives have preset balances of joy and pain; when one gets too high the other kicks in to compensate." Dilbert continues, "But through it all, I always have you, my friend." Dogbert replies, "At least until my good luck kicks in."
Saturday July 18,
1992
Tags computer, Dilbert, Dogbert, math, talk, doing, circle, pi, jillion
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I spent my entire fortune to buy this supercomputer." Dogbert asks, "What does it do?" Dilbert replies, "It can calculate the value of pi to about a jillion decimal places . . ." Dilbert continues, "A lot of people TALK about the areas of circles, but I'm DOING something about it."
Monday July 20,
1992
Tags Dogbert, ridiculous, Dilbert, supercomputer, create, model, predict, life, brain, chemistry, patterns, cause and effect, free will, mad, implies
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a desk and works on his supercomputer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm using my new supercomputer to create a model that can predict your entire life." Dilbert continues, "You see, everything, including your brain chemistry, is subject to predictable patterns of cause and effect . . ." Dogbert replies, "That's ridiculous. It implies that we have no free will." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "Next, you start getting really mad at me."


