Down Comic Strips - Page 49
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View 481 - 490 results for down comic strips. Discover the best "Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 03, 2013's comic on:
CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.
Share December 21, 2013's comic on:
Tina: You need to work less. Wally: Your productivity is making us look bad. Tina: If you keep being productive, we will hunt you down. Wally: If it's easy. Alice: About the peer review concept... I don't think you thought it through.
Share February 12, 2014's comic on:
CEO: Who's up for some leadership? Watch me define acceptable behavior, align your goals with company objectives, prioritize respect, deal directly with conflict, maintain a positive attitude, and pretend to care! Wally: That would be impressive. CEO: Settle down, Bilbo.
Share March 05, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I need to learn how to look busy like the rest of you. Wally: Try walking into people's cubicles without an invitation and babbling about things they don't care about. Boss: I should write this down.
Share March 10, 2014's comic on:
Share March 20, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Experts say managers should hire great people and set clear expectations. They don't say what to do when you get the first part wrong, but I'm leaning toward micromanaging. Alice: My employee engagement just went down. Boss: That was never a real thing.
Share March 26, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I hired a consultant from the respected firm Booz Muhkidney. Consultant: My life is a nightmare of business travel, loneliness, and sleep deprivation. I'm only 25 years old! Boss: It's a travel day. He'll calm down after he drinks lunch.
Share July 29, 2014's comic on:
CEO: The board has voted to do a stock split. It came down to a choice between creating fantastic products or attracting dumber stockholders. One of those two things is easy.
Share August 24, 2014's comic on:
Boss; What programming skills should I be looking for in our next home? Dilbert: Jquery, ruby,HTML5, Python , Java , PHO and of course, C++ BOSS: Maybe you could wrote this down. Dilbert: Sure. That should totally solve your ignorance problem. Are there any other gaps in your knowledge that I can fix by writing things down? Dilbert: How about string theory? I can explain that in a few words. Graviton....supersymmetry....perturbation...M-theory. Boss: I know string theory now.
Share September 15, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I dislike the words "boss" and "employee." From now on, we are all "team members." I'll be the team member that makes the decisions and gets paid the most. You'll be the team members I punish when things go wrong. Dilbert: But otherwise we are all equal? Boss: Whoa! Calm down, Spartacus.