Employee Personality Prefremces Comic Strips - Page 49

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

552 Results for Employee Personality Prefremces

View 481 - 490 results for employee personality prefremces comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Personality Prefremces" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

How It Feels To Be Useless

Thank you for voting.
How It Feels To Be Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #work ethic, #engineers, #stress, #reward, #laziness, #dedication

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.

Asok's Goal

Thank you for voting.
Asok's Goal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #goals, #employment, #driver, #ride share, #rideshare, #dream, #turnover

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it important to have goals? Boss: Yes! You need goals to succeed. Asok: Good, because my goal is to become an Uber driver. I quit. What is your goal? Boss: Reducing employee turnover.

False Sense Of Urgency

Thank you for voting.
False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

Thank you for voting.
Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

Recommening A Friend

Thank you for voting.
Recommening A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bribe, #employee, #hiring, #money, #referral, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?

Wally Gets Referral Money

Thank you for voting.
Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #con, #deception, #hiring, #money, #referral, #scheme, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!

Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior

Thank you for voting.
Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #sjw, #internet, #personality, #political correctness, #politically correct, #flirting, #insult, #masculinity, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.

Pregnant Fly

Thank you for voting.
Pregnant Fly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #safety, #accident, #osha, #hazard, #work environment

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.

Ted Has No Family

Thank you for voting.
Ted Has No Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #judgement, #deciding, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.