Named Ted Comic Strips - Page 49

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

499 Results for Named Ted

View 481 - 490 results for named ted comic strips. Discover the best "Named Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.

Dilbert Characters

Self Reliant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #teamwork, #help, #teach, #self-reliant

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

Business Agility Influencer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

We Already Have A Carl

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Already Have A Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #interview, #skills, #confuse, #employee, #names

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't hire you because we already have an employee named carl. it would confuse people, and we don't need that. interviewee: what about my skills? boss: people with better names have skills too.

Saying You Are Dumb

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Saying You Are Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.

Cross Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #business, #cross train, #fire, #job, #dumb, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.

Poison Pill

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Poison Pill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-worker, #cross-train, #business, #relationship, #training, #bad, #fire, #poison pill, #planner

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.

Data Can Only Mean One Thing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Data Can Only Mean One Thing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #data, #analyze

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: this data can mean only one thing. dilbert: actually, it can mean any one of about seventeen things. ted: then why can i think of only one? dilbert: please don't make me answer that.

Bias For Action

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #co-workers, #business, #meeting, #prototype, #bias

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!