While You Complain Comic Strips - Page 49

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

561 Results for While You Complain

View 481 - 490 results for while you complain comic strips. Discover the best "While You Complain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diet, #dating, #restaurant, #relationships, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It took me six months to get a reservation here. I hear the food is amazing. Woman: It sounds fantastic. It's too bad I'm on a cucumber diet. I can only eat cucumbers after five o'clock. Dilbert: Well, it seems you have squandered my invitation to fine dining. Now my plan of sharing a culinary adventure is just a sad commentary on the casual rudeness of life. Can I expect you to complain about the quality of your cucumber and send it back? Waiter: We don't have cucumbers.

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #communication, #response, #confusion, #honesty, #overshare

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #shame, #unpopular, #popularity, #public relations, #gawker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

Alice Takes On More Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Takes On More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #workload, #philosophy, #semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."

Texting The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Texting The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #texting, #driving, #distraction, #trick, #murder, #killing, #malice

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Hold on, I have to text my boss while he's driving. I'll say it's a crisis so he has to text back. Dilbert: Is it legal to kill him that way? Carol: Yes, I checked with a lawyer first.

Punishment By Talking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #time, #time management, #managers, #perspective

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Remember Or Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remember Or Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #ruse, #trick, #ego, #top secret, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What is this "Red File" people keep telling me you're working on? Wally: Do you remember giving me this secret project, or should I spread the rumor that you have dementia? Boss: Oh, now I sort of remember. Wally: Good. Now run along while I work on the red file.

Resources Complain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.