Work Comic Strips - Page 49
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1000 Results for Work
View 481 - 490 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 29,
2014
Tags miserliness, wages, good work, saves billons, no raise, personal item, on desk, insoubordination, abuse of power, boss, money
Transcript
Boss: Alice, your good work has saved the company over a billion dollars. But I can't give you a raise because you once had a personal item on your desk. Alice: How are those things equal?!! Boss: And here comes the insubordination.
Tuesday April 01,
2014
Tags work ethic, dark matter, universe, new excuse, a-b test, hidden dimensions
Transcript
Wally: The universe is full of dark matter, quantum strangeness, and hidden dimensions. In such a universe, can we really know whether or not I did my assignment? Dilbert: How'd the new excuse work out? Wally: It did well in the A-B test against "You never told me to do that."
Monday April 07,
2014
Tags anger, interrupting work, jargon, meeting with boss, not enough passion, stupid trendy, performance evaluation
Transcript
Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.
Friday May 02,
2014
Tags deception, work ethic, on time, under budget, beleievable, working smoothly
Transcript
Wally: My project is coming along great. Everything is on time and under budget. Boss: Do you really expect me to believe that everything you're working on is going smoothly? Wally: No, but apparently you believe I work, and I didn't see that coming either.
Monday May 05,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, mathematics, work ethic, work time, donate, 1% work time, charitable cause, 110% to job, learn math, asking employess, business
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.
Tuesday May 06,
2014
Tags charitable organizations, corporate charity, deception, no boss fooled, teaching interview techniques, trained umemployed, work ethic, job skill
Transcript
Wally: Last week, I did my corporate charity work by teaching unemployed people how to interview for jobs. Boss: Don't they also need job skills? Wally: Nah. I taught them how to look busy. Boss: No boss will be fooled by that. Wally: Do you believe I trained unemployed people last week?
Monday May 12,
2014
Tags frustration, vacations, work harder, no vacation, boss, time off, employee
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.
Saturday May 17,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, friendship, money, you won't quit, friends at work, pay less, relationships
Transcript
Boss: Experts say you'll be more engaged if you have a friend at work. And when you're engaged, I can pay you less and you won't quit. Dilbert: So this guy is costing me money? Wally: Don't flatter yourself. I barely know your name.
Sunday June 08,
2014
Tags criminals, office workers, work ethic, cesspool, horrible office conditions, better choices, career criminal
Transcript
Dilbert: What's your son doing here? Coworker: Today is 'Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day." The idea is to show kids how horrible it is to work in an office. That way, they can make better choices and avoid a life like ours. Dilbert: Just out of curiosity, who told you this is "Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day?" Coworker: Wally. Oh. Child: I've decided to become a career criminal. Dilbert: Good luck with all of that.
Wednesday June 04,
2014
Tags art education, engineers, inventions, humans do cretaive, robots, technology work, liberal arts majors, origami, game
Transcript
Robot: Someday robots will do all of the technology work and humans will only do creative jobs. If you engineers work hard, someday the spoils will go to the liberal arts majors who partied while you studied. I hear good things about origami. It's not too late to get into that game.


