Search Results for "jumbled typ face"
Share June 17, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert stands before a presentation screen with a model on it. He explains, "We found a bug in our software." Another panel comes up and Dilbert continues, "It searches your e-mail address book for your mother's name." The Boss, Alice and Wally listen as Dilbert says, "Every Sunday it uses your e-mail to send her a message..." Dilbert continues, "...Comparing her face to various parts of animals." The Boss asks, "Do you have any hard facts that proves we should fix the bug?" The Boss continues, "We can't just throw money at every problem." His secretary stands behind him, holding a phone in her hand. Carol, the Boss's secretary says, "It's your mother." The Boss puts the receiver to his ear and his mother screams, "YOU MISERABLE %$#@&!!!" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "See what I mean?" The Boss replies, "No. I get this call every day" as his mother continues to curse.
Share September 16, 2013's comic on:
Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.
Share October 29, 2014's comic on:
Alice: I'm trying to turn myself into a morning person so I can be more productive. I've been getting up at 4:30 every day, and so far, so good. Dilbert: So... no problems at all? Alice: Nothing huge. I've brushed my teeth with face cream a few times.
Share January 07, 2018's comic on:
Topper Dilbert: I tried a Habanero pepper last night, It almost burned off my face. Ted: Thats Nothing. I can eat the hottest peppers in the world and not even break a sweat. Dilbert: Im glad you said that, because I have with me the hottest peppers in the world. Ted: Pfft. easy. Gulp. FOOM! Dilbert: Will you admit you were wrong? Ted: You don't see any sweat , do you?
Share October 07, 2018's comic on:
Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.
Share November 09, 2011's comic on:
Ted: Hey, Alice! Did you hear about my big promotion? Alice: Congratulations, Ted. I'm not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Sorry about my face. I haven't mastered the art of full-body lying.
Share June 23, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I finished the fraudulent analysis you requested to support the decision you already made. It's a total betrayal of shareholders and a slap in the face for anyone who values rational behavior. Boss: Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Dilbert: You're welcome.
Share October 06, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock. He hears, "Boink-ouch! Boink-ouch! Boink-ouch!" Dogbert gets off the hassock and walks toward the noise. Dilbert lies face-down on the floor with juggling pins around him. Dogbert says, "Maybe juggling isn't your sport." Dilbert says, "It's not winning that counts; it's how you play the game."
Share May 08, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert thinks, "I've noticed that all the cool guys use gentle kidding with women. Women must like it." Dilbert walks up behind a woman and says, "Excuse me, miss, does your face hurt? It's killing me!" Dilbert giggles and snorts. Dilbert is stuffed upside down in a garbage can. Dilbert thinks, "The cool guys must hate it when this happens to them."
Share May 14, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become an ambush reporter, like Mike Wallace." Dogbert holds a microphone toward a man carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "Is is true you made all of your money unethically and you're having an affair?" The man covers his face with his hands and cries, "Yes!! Yes!! How did you find me?!" Dogbert replies, "You were chosen randomly."