Game The System Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

290 Results for Game The System

View 41 - 50 results for game the system comic strips. Discover the best "Game The System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #useless, #laziness, #productivity, #flaw, #strength, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Some people say uselessness is a character flaw. I see it as the natural result of mindful resistance to the tyranny of productivity. Dilbert: Where do you think food comes from? Wally: From my critics. It's a great system.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #computer, #robot, #replacement, #doctor, #medicine, #obsolete, #job, #diagnose, #necessity, #technology, #invention, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.

Wally's Stress Problem

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #happiness, #work, #labor, #employee, #stimulation, #boredom, #interest, #human resources, #psychology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.

Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #product design, #product designer, #cruelty, #update, #computer, #reboot, #operating system, #torture, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?

Wally Will Work When He Is Dead

Thank you for voting.
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #death, #strategy, #work ethic, #work, #philosophy, #perfect system, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

Thank you for voting.
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #diversification, #investment, #obliviousness, #stock market, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

Dilbert Reduces Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Reduces Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #attractive, #clothes, #clothing, #dating, #deciding, #decisions, #eliminates decisons, #fine tuning, #system, #tube clothes, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I only wear tube clothes now because it reduces my number of daily decisions. Tina: You mean decisions such as... where to go on a date? Because I don't see that coming up. Dilbert: I'm still fine-tuning the system.

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

Thank you for voting.
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Wally's Air Bag

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Air Bag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #air bags, #laziness, #work ethic, #underpants, #accidental asignments, #system, #offcie, #work, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I added air bags to my underpants to avoid accidental assignments. Boss: Hey, Wally, I need you to... BAM! Maybe I'll ask someone else. Wally: The system works!