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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #reading, #sandblasting, #soup, #cracker, #ratbert, #hypnosis

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Dogbert sits on his pillow reading a book titled "Hypnosis For World Conquest." Dogbert thinks, "Looks easy enough." Ratbert enters and says, "Hi, Dogbert! What are you reading?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. You will remember nothing." Ratbert holds his arms out like a zombie and asks, "Who am I? Where am I?" Dogbert thinks, "That was a little bit like sandblasting a soup cracker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job, #application, #Promotion

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and shouts, "I'm a loud dog! Give me a job! You must obey me because I'm loud!" The Boss says, "Okay okay." Dogbert says, "That was too easy. There must be something wrong with the job. It must be an entry level job . . ." Dogbert stands on the desk and kicks something at the Boss. Dogbert shouts, "I want a raise!! Promote me, you imbecile!!" The Boss thinks, "Bad trend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #executive, #Dogbert, #career

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The caption says, "Dogbert meets the company president." Dogbert sits across from the president's desk. The president says to Dogbert, "You've made quite a name for yourself in the week you've worked here." Dogbert replies, "It was easy to grab power, once I realized the other executives were just imbeciles with good hair." The president says, "I hope you don't think that of ME." Dogbert replies, "No, that looks like a toupee from here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #saint dogbert, #technology, #demons, #stupidity, #make command, #easy to remeber, #software developer

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Saint Dogbert seeks out technology that has been possessed by the demons of stupidity. He Happens across a software developer. Man: I'll make the command easier to remember like CTRL- ALT-F4-DEL" and if they forget that they can just edit the source code in command. com perfect Dogbert: out! out!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #good tatse, #home to change, #shut up wally, #casual dress

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The Boss: I realize that casual dress day isn't easy for you engineers.... The boss; But you've exceeded the bounds of good taste. Ive got to send you home to change. Dilbert: Shut up wally. wally: I heard they were back! I swear!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #computer program, #spelled wrong, #colons, #collen, #ass

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The Boss: "I saw the code for your computer program yesterday." "It looked easy. It's just a bunch of typing. And half the words were spelled wrong." "And don't get me started about your over-use of colons." Dilbert: "They remind me of you, sir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #qualified, #technology, #artcile, #smarter, #microsoft corportaion, #most geniuses, #millionaires, #smart

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Dilbert: "What makes you think you're qualified to be a technology columnist?" Dogbert: "It's easy." "In this article I explain why I'm smarter than the entire Microsoft corporation." Dilbert: "Actually, they're mostly geniuses. And many are millionaires." Dogbert: "If they're so smart, why aren't they columnists?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #client server, #project, #reasoning, #six minutes, #time line, #world wide operations, #understand

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The Boss: I put together a time line for your project. I started by reasoning that anything I don't understand is easy to do. Phase one: design a client-server architecture for our world wide operations time: six minutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #financial advisor, #invest, #dogcart deferred earnings, #fund, #conflict of interest, #client, #interest

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Dilbert sits on a pillow on the floor working on his laptop. Dogbert tells him, "I'm going into business as a financial advisor." Dilbert says, "Sounds hard." Dogbert says, "It's easy. I'll tell all my clients to invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund.'" Dilbert asks, "Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Dogbert replies, "Only if I show interest in the client."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Political, #city, #county, #state, #federal, #world, #leader, #choice, #price

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Two aliens say to Dogbert, "Take us to your leader." Dogbert asks, "What kind of leader do you want . . .? Spiritual? Economic? Political? Military?" One alien asks, "Political?" The other replies, "Try it." Dogbert says, "Okay, do you want a city, county, state, federal or world political leader?" One alien says, "World . . . Definitely world." The other says, "Multiple choice is so easy." Dogbert says, "Sorry . . . Trick question. There is no political leader of the world." Dogbert continues, "But over that hill is a grocery store that claims to be the price leader." Dilbert arrives at home wearing burned clothes and carrying a bag of groceries. He tells Dogbert, "The strangest thing happened at the grocery store." Dogbert says, "It's been a strange day."