Future Version Comic Strips - Page 5
145 Results for Future Version
View 41 - 50 results for future version comic strips. Discover the best "Future Version" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 07, 2003's comic on:
The Boss: Tell me why you need a new server. and don't give me the condescending simple version for managers. I want a full technical explanation. Dilbert: Early civilizations had no concept of zero. The Boss: Go on.
Share August 19, 2003's comic on:
"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."
Share December 27, 2003's comic on:
Share May 04, 2004's comic on:
Dilbert: We still have too many software faults. We'll miss our ship date. The boss: "Move the list of faults to the 'future development' column and ship it." "90% of this job is figuring out what to call stuff."
Share June 03, 2005's comic on:
I couldn't buy the software I need to do my job because of your freeze on expenses. "And our I.S. policy says I can't use the freeware version that is readily available." "So I used the week to develop some new coffee-sipping noises."
Share June 06, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: The beta version looks great. Now ask if they'll tss in an archive option for no extra money. Dilbert: "That's a great idea. Or...maybe I could save time by the realizing that they aren't raging morons who enjoy working for free." The boss: "It's all in the way you ask." Dilbert: "I'll try yelling."
Share May 21, 2000's comic on:
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you explain why your project is behind schedule?" Dilbert answers, "Yes. A schedule is an artificial device created without knowledge of the future." Dilbert goes on to say, "Wild guesses are used as surrogates for knowledge." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Project deadlines ae tied to trade show dates instead of reality." Dilbert continues his explanation, "Then management cuts the budget until failure is assured." Dilbert says to the Boss, "I assume you called me here so you can apologize for your role in all this." The Boss sits in his chair looking puzzled and amazed. Dilbert then asks the Boss, "Would you like to hear how budgets are created?"
Share September 06, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Dilbert, this is Lars. He's a better version of you. This is what you would look like if you were stylish and cool and fun to be with. Dilbert: Can it do math? Man: That will matter on the same day that all the ugly people die.
Share September 02, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I heard a rumor that Apple's next phone will have a 20-megapixel camera. Topper: That's nothing! I heard you'll be able to hold the phone to your head and take a picture of your thoughts. And even that's nothing. Their next phone will be a time machine! Future Topper: Here I am from the future! I'm the most handsome man in the universe! Topper: So am I! Wally: He makes a good case for buying an Android phone. Both Toppers: I love me more than me. Topper hijack
Share June 11, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"