Own Boats Comic Strips - Page 5
354 Results for Own Boats
View 41 - 50 results for own boats comic strips. Discover the best "Own Boats" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 28, 2008's comic on:
A man says, "Hi, I'm a customer of your commercial sales division." "The man says, "I heard you would be the best person to answer a technical question..." Dilbert says, "I don't work in that division." The man says, "I know. It's just a quick question." Dilbert says, "If I tell you something different from what the commercial division tells you, I'll get in trouble." Dilbert says, "But I'll also get in trouble for not helping a customer." Dilbert says, "My safest course of action is to fake my own death." The man says, "You're a bad actor." Dilbert says, "It isn't polite to insult the dead."
Share December 11, 2007's comic on:
Asok: "I was dead for a week, but I managed to reincarnate into my own clone and use my shapeshifting skills to look less like a snickers bar." Carol: "I once waited four hours for a cable tv guy to show up at my house." Asok: "Those stories are no equivalent." Carol: "It's subjective."
Share December 24, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
Share November 05, 2000's comic on:
Ted asks, "Am I fired?" The Boss, sitting at his desk, answers, "Of course not, Ted. I enjoy e-mailed jokes as much as anyone." Ted smiles as The Boss says, "I'm still laughing about your 'Top Ten Signs That Your Boss Is a Hairless Rodent'." The Boss says, "I asked you here to discuss the reclassification of your job." The Boss says, "Starting today, the job requires a Ph.D. Feel free to apply for your own job." Ted says, "Whew! Luckily, I have a Ph.D." The Boss says, "You do? Well, the job also requires an Olympic Gold Medal." Holding up the medal around his neck, Ted says, "Synchronized Swimming, 1992." The Boss says, "And a posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor."
Share November 07, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you know why I need to carry a company-issued phone plus my own phone? Boss: No. Dilbert: I think it's because our company policy was written by chimps who time-traveled from the fifties. Or do you have a better explanation. Boss: I really don't.
Share June 22, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Change your recommendation to the opposite of what you wrote and send it to me for approval. Dilbert: Why do I need approval for the thing you just approved? Boss: I want you to feel some ownership. Dilbert: I already feel that you own me. Boss: I mean that I want you to feel ownership of the recommendation. Dilbert: How can I feel ownership of your ignorant decisions? Boss: By getting my approval for them. I can't be more clear. Dilbert: At least we agree on that.
Share September 11, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I saw you new car in the parking lot. It's nice. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I'm complimenting the people who made your car, not you. Topper: Well, I guess only one of us knows how to make his own car.
Share July 06, 2016's comic on:
Share December 18, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Our apps are so addictive that we've triggered a zombie apocalypse. Our users no longer interact with the living. They can only see and hear their own phones, Boss: Do the zombies eat brains? Dilbert: Yes. we call it "share" button.