Act Humble Comic Strips - Page 5
96 Results for Act Humble
View 41 - 50 results for act humble comic strips. Discover the best "Act Humble" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 16, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"
Share September 03, 1993's comic on:
Ratbert rides on Bob the Dinosaur's back. Ratbert says, "What a team we make, Bob!" Ratbert continues, "Now I won't need to act pathetic to get love. I'll get all the spillover love that people naturally have for dinosaurs!" Someone says, "Eww! It's a huge lizard with a talking zit. I'm gonna be sick." Ratbert says, "Great . . . I got a defective dinosaur."
Share September 15, 1994's comic on:
Share September 18, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert watches Wally pack his car trunk. Dilbert asks, "Where are you taking all that office equipment?" Wally answers, "I'm having a garage sale." Wally continues, "Our new company slogan is 'Act like you own the company.' So I've been selling the stuff that I don't use and keeping the money." Dilbert asks, "Is that my new color monitor?" Wally replies, "Yeah, I never use that thing."
Share October 14, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park humming to themselves. A man steals an old woman's purse. She screams, "Help!! Purse snatcher!!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh . . . He's running this way." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Act like we didn't see it or we might get hurt." Dogbert trips Dilbert. The thief trips over Dilbert's body and drops the purse into Dogbert's paws. Dogbert hands the pocketbook to the woman. He says, "I assume there's some sort of reward for this." The thief fights with Dilbert. Dogbert says, "Look! I got Chiclets!"
Share April 07, 1991's comic on:
The strip is titled, "The secrets of men. A guide for women." The caption says, "Women wonder why men say dumb things to start conversations." Dilbert asks a woman, "Are you a model?" The caption says, "Why can't men take a hint?" The woman replies, "No, but my boyfriend is a killer." The caption says, "Why are men so thick?" Dilbert asks, "Are you free Saturday?" The caption says, "Why are excuses useless?" The woman replies, "I have to wash my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "How about Sunday?" The caption says, "Why don't men understand the word no?" The woman says, "No no no no no no . . ." Dilbert asks, "What are you trying to say?" The caption says, "Men know why they act like that:" Dilbert and the woman look at each other. The caption says, ". . . Sometimes it works." Dilbert and the woman walk into the sunset holding hands.
Share August 25, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in line at a video store. The man in front of him hands a video tape to the sales clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk asks, "Why would anybody BUY a mystery movie?!" The clerk asks, "What do you do, watch it a hundred times and act surprised at the ending?" She hands the video back to the customer and says, "Get a life." Dilbert hands his selection to the clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk says, "Tootsie?! You want to OWN a movie about a man who wears dresses?!" Dilbert says, "What?! I thought it was a documentary about Tootsie Rolls. You should label those things more clearly!" Dilbert sits in his chair holding a copy of Rambo. He asks Dogbert, "Is it a sin to lie to strangers?" Dogbert replies, "The way you do it, yes."
Share August 19, 1996's comic on:
Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "I've hit the glass ceiling. I'll never be promoted again." Wally replies, "That's because you're not willing to 'play the game.' You have to look and act like the person who can promote you." In order to look like the Boss, Alice shapes her hair into two points, puts on a suit and stuffs a pillow under her shirt. The Boss sees her and thinks, "Ooo la la!" Alice thinks, "This had better work."
Share March 06, 1997's comic on:
The Boss sits at a table with his arms outstretched. He says, "I am under your consulting spell." Ratbert asks, "Really?" The Boss continues, "Your overly complicated matrices and diagrams have convinced me of your intellectual superiority." The Boss says, "I am afraid to act without your approval." Ratbert asks, "Did I say you could put your arms up like that?"
Share August 23, 1992's comic on:
Ted stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm taking orders for 'Camp Girl cookies' on behalf of my daughter." Ted asks, "How many dozen can I guilt you into buying?" Dilbert says, "I've always wondered, Ted, why do they sell cookies? Is it just for the money?" Ted replies, "No, it's to help them build character by earning their own money." Dilbert asks, "Oh, so your daughter is doing some selling from door-to-door?" Ted answers, "No, too dangerous. My wife and I are doing all the selling at work." Dilbert says, "Well, then aren't you only teaching your daughter to act helpless so other people will do her work?" Ted says angrily, "Just buy the stupid cookies!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you considered foster care for your kids?"