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57 Results for Billion

View 41 - 50 results for billion comic strips. Discover the best "Billion" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2006's comic on:


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Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist "I need a hundred billion to build an ocean city on barges." "Take my money!!! Take it, take it, take it!" "Do I get stock or something?" "How about an insincere wag?" Insincere wag! $ $

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Share May 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #new vice president, #billon dollars, #garbage barge, #oceanfront realestate, #open business, #barge

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"I worked all year on a project that got canceled today because we got a new vice president who didn't like it." "I made a billion dollars by convincing suckers that a garbage barge was oceanfront real estate." "Would you lend me some money so I can open my own business." "No, but I know some people on a barge who would."

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"And that's how I made a billion dollars in shady real estate deals." "The moral of the story is that crime doesn't pay..." "Directly; it goes through escrow." "Dogbert, don't ruin the rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Google Headquarters "Isn't it a little bit evil to kill Dilbert with our death ray?" "Good point...What if I just blast the space station out of orbit and make it land on his house?" "I'll bet you ten billion dollars you can't." "And the lower has to introduce himself as 'the dumb one.'"

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Today the company restated its earnings from 'a few frillion' to 'a loss of 1.3 billion'. "This would be humiliating if I had any friends." "Your strategy of being unattractive is paying off." "I'm ugly like a fox."

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Share June 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #billions in bad loans, #bug pay cut, #regulatory oversight

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CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"

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Share November 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #summary, #history of the earth, #time, #hours

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The man who could not summarize Man says, "It all started 4.53 billion years ago during the Hadean eon." Man says, "I hope you don't mind if I skip over the part where the earth formed by accretion from the solar nebula." Hours Later Man says, "...And that formed what we call the moon." Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll just ask someone else what time it is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #bailout, #greed, #money, #economy, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm happy to announce that the government gave us a bailout loan of $25 billion." Dogbert says, "I'm even happier to announce that I kept the entire amount for my bonus." Dogbert says, "Who wants to see a picture of my island fortress?"

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Share March 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #negotiations, #unfair, #greed, #money

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Dogbert the CEO man says, "The union will agree to deep cuts if you agree to work for one dollar per year." Dogbert says, "I agree, as long as I get my pay in advance and the mandatory retirement age is waived." Man says, "Fine." Dogbert says, "Call payroll and tell them to cut a check for my next ten billion years of service."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #employee review, #idea, #annoyance, #raise

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The Boss says, "Once again, Wally, you have accomplished nothing this quarter." Wally says, "What about that billion dollar cost-saving idea I had?" The Boss says, "Your idea would only save one dollar per year." Wally says, "Exactly. In a billion years that a billion dollars." The Boss says, "The company won't be in business that long." Wally says, "Why not? Do you know something I don't know?" Wally says, "So, what kind of raise are we looking at here?" Dilbert says, "He gave you a billion dollar raise?" Wally says, "It's not as good as it sounds."