Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.
Boss: Did you finish the product redesign?
Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product.
Boss: I don't want any excuses!
Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything.
Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures.
Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do.
Boss: You're not doing it right.
Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?