Gave Demo Comic Strips - Page 5
126 Results for Gave Demo
View 41 - 50 results for gave demo comic strips. Discover the best "Gave Demo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 13, 1998's comic on:
Ed tells Wally, "I just gave my two-week notice." Wally screams, "Yes! Yes! The arrogant obstructionist bore is history!" Ed says, "Everyone seems to be taking this rather well." Wally shouts, "Count me in for the goodbye lunch!"
Share May 16, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "I gave five hundred dollars to charity this year." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's my moral duty to help those less fortunate." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert asks, "Five hundred dollars? What kind of morality is that?" Dogbert continues, "People are starving and you still have plenty of money left for your hobbies." Dogbert continues, "According to YOUR moral code it's more important for you to have a new computer than for poor people to eat." Dogbert continues, "Morality? Ha! You spent five hundred bucks to ease your own guilt!" Dilbert replies, "And it worked. I feel pretty good." Dilbert asks, "How much did YOU give to charity?" Dogbert replies, "A thousand. That's why I'm so torqued."
Share August 18, 1998's comic on:
Wally sits at his computer. Tina the Tech Writer says, "Wally did review my draft of the user manual yet?" Wally says, "The characters in the examples gave me no reason to care about them. It left me empty." Wally gives Tina the papers. Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina writes, "Sadly, user "B" could never love user "A" because he was a bald engineer."
Share November 09, 1998's comic on:
Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Alice sits in a chair across from Catbert's desk. Alice with her arms out says, "I work hard, but all I get are tiny raises." Catbert says, "If we gave you everything you wanted, then you would have nothing to motivate you." ALice says, "I don't want to be motivated." Catbert says, "That's why I enjoy doing it!"
Share November 06, 1994's comic on:
The Boss stands at Dilbert's desk and says, "I got your project approved by our president!" The Boss continues, "But he gave your budget to another project." The Boss continues, "It's pretty much doomed from the get-go." The Boss continues, "But I hyped it up at the executive meeting so somebody else will try to take it over." A woman pushes them aside and says, "Step aside, fools! This project belongs to marketing now!" As the woman walks away, the Boss says, "Oh, please don't take our project." Dilbert and the Boss slap hands. Dilbert says, "Yes!" Dilbert asks, "Do you ever worry that you're finding joy in the wrong places?" The Boss replies, "Nope."
Share September 17, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally and a woman from marketing sit at a conference table. The woman sits in front of a computer and says, "It's time for marketing to put the glitter on this software you've created." She continues, "With my guidance this will become the premier data backup software!" Wally says, "Bear in mind that we said it would take six months to write it." Dilbert says, "You only gave us a month." The woman says, "We'll fix the bugs in the next release. Tell me about the features." Wally says, "At this point, all it does is erase your disk drive." Dilbert adds, "Unless you're on a network." The woman asks, "What happens if you're on a network?" Wally replies, "It erases everybody's disk drives." Wally continues, "And heaven help you if you have a modem . . ." Dilbert says, "It calls all your friends and erases their PCs." The woman says, "We'll call it 'QuikProtect.'" Dilbert adds, "If you have a sound card it swears at you."
Share January 26, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert and his mother stand in the kitchen. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?" Dilbert's mother replies, "Oh, nothing. I have everything I need." Dilbert says, "Oh, c'mon. There must be something you want." His mother replies, "Well, one thing, but it's silly." They sit in chairs. Dilbert says, "You just name it." His mom replies, "Okay." Dilbert's mother says, "I'd like a home entertainment theatre with a fifty-inch screen, 'Thx' Surround Sound and a 600 KBPS satellite link to the Net so I can view adult pictures during the commercials." Dilbert replies, "I was thinking more along the lines of a new toaster oven." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, that's exciting. I'll put it next to my other one and watch them fight it out." Dilbert says, "There's a real dark side to the information age." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, and about the gift of life I gave you; you're welcome."
Share November 30, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."
Share January 14, 1999's comic on:
Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."
Share July 09, 1999's comic on:
Dogbert wears a crown and wand and stands in the doorway of the boss' office. Dilbert, Wally and Alice look through the window. Dogbert says, "I'm here to perform an exorcism." The boss opens his mouth wide and says, "Your mother implements multi-vendor processes without synergy!!" Dogbert points his wand to the boss' coffee cup and says, "Here's the problem someone gave you this oversized coffee mug." The boss says, "Reorg!!!" and his head starts to spin.