Never Saw Luggage Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

717 Results for Never Saw Luggage

View 41 - 50 results for never saw luggage comic strips. Discover the best "Never Saw Luggage" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lost two pounds, #yoga class, #never sick, #yoga prodicgy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I've lost two pounds since I signed up for yoga class." Wally continues, "And I never get sick anymore." Dilbert says, "You haven't had a class yet." Wally responds, "Maybe I'm some sort of yoga prodigy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airline, #no planes, #sit in crowded room, #steal luggage, #customers realize, #mechanical difficulties

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is assembling something. Dogbert says to him, "I'm going to start an airline that has no planes." Dogbert continues, "I'll take people's money and make them sit in a crowded room while ex-cons steal from their luggage." Dilbert turns and replies, "What happens when your customers realize you have no airplanes?" Dogbert responds, "I call that 'mechanical difficulties.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first week, #never do work, #non work, #tasks, #thinking, #wally period, #wally week, #want week

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Asok, "The first week after getting an assignment is called 'The Wally Period.' Wally continues, "Never do work during the Wally period because most tasks become unnecessary within seven days." Asok exclaims, "I want a period named after me!" Wally replies, "Whoa, Asok. That takes many years of non-work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve morale, #want drinking enough, #coffee meetings, #never leave table

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lead odg, #view never changes, #look at face, #imlying, #insightful analogy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Remember, if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes." Carol: "I'm not the lead dog, and I have to look at your face all day. The Boss: "What are you implying?" Carol: "I was admiring your insightful analogy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consulting firm, #fixing business strategies, #own industry, #doing bad, #never mention

View Transcript

Transcript

Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate people, #never allowed shoes, #Dogbert, #hows my walking, #dial, #1800

View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prima donna, #never produced anything, #except arrogance, #noise, #ta-da, #case closed, #stand behind, #end sentences

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #explain the issue, #never comprehend, #conflicts, #never understand

View Transcript

Transcript

"I know I keep asking you this but could you explain the issue again?" "Well, something that you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you'd never understand." "Oh."