No Respect Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

66 Results for No Respect

View 41 - 50 results for no respect comic strips. Discover the best "No Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genus, #derogatory word, #rat, #rattus, #define its own name, #dog, #smarter than stupid rattus, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, I prefer that you not refer to my genus by the derogatory word 'rat'." "The correct word is 'rattus'. It is the right of any group to define its own name. You must respect that." "Don't call me a dog anymore. From now on my correct name is 'smarter-than-a-stupid-rattus'."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smart like you, #rat, #garbageman, #special gift, #creativity, #talent, #ability to love

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: I wish I were smart like you. Then Id get some respect. GarbageMAN: We're all smart in different ways, Your special gift may be creativity, a talent , or even the ability to love. Ratbert: I can burp my cheeks full ...urp. Garbage Man: Id go with that If I were you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hidden qaulities, #act humble, #deitful, #manipulative, #hypocritical braggart, #funny world

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is jogging. He says, "I believe its what's inside a person that counts." Dogbert says, "How can you get respect for hidden qualities?" Dilbert says, "You have to act humble while generating as many clues as possible." Dogbert says, "So, you recommend being a deceitful, manipulative, hypocritical braggart." Dilbert says, "It's a funny world." They both sit on a large rock (boulder).

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cycle, #helipcopter, #double rotor, #respect, #budget process, #budget padding, #albino tiger cubs

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption "The budget cycle" Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Wally reads of a piece of paper and says, "And i'll need a helicopter, double rotor." Asok says, "If you have any resoect for me or the budget process, you will not ask for such obvious budget padding." Wally says, "And I'll need that chopper filled with Albino tiger cubs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never been summoned, #intern, #respect, #great honor, #air from outdoors, #air duct, #building

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands in the Boss's office and says, "I have never been summoned to your office before. It is a great honor for an intern." the boss points at the ceiling and says, "I need you to crawl through this air duct and find out where air comes from." Asok says, "Air comed from out doors." The boss says, "No, I think it's coming from our building."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #act as boss, #imitates her boss, #alice, #funny faces, #makes hair pointy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you should act as if you're your own boss." Alice replies, "Okay." Alice grabs her hair into two sections and says, "My hair is pointy and I'm confused. Suddenly I have no respect for myself." Alice looks dazed. She slumps in her chair and says, "Must...golf... now." The Boss responds, "That is so-o-o not funny."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information promised, #ignored request, #squadron, #military squirrels, #plausible lie, #giant military squirrels, #secret lair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing campiagn, #free samples, #worked, #decline, #intelligence, #conclusion, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #core values, #integrity, #value, #honesty, #excellence, #inherent conflicts, #fund na dpassionate, #all of them, #hygiene

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #standardize dept.new programming, #language, #mass from hole, #objective, #vendor warning

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I've decided to standardize the department on a new programming language." Dilbert: "With all due respect, that sort of decision should be made by someone who knows his mass from a black hole." Dilbert: "The vendor warned me that you couldn't be objective."