Planning Comic Strips - Page 5

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102 Results for Planning

View 41 - 50 results for planning comic strips. Discover the best "Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #proprietary documents, #cubicle, #competitors, #utilize synergy

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The Boss stands in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've got to lock up these proprietary documents you have in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "If our competitors see our plans, it could be very dangerous." Alice asks, "For us or for them?" The captions reads, "The Competitors." A man reads a document and says, "Ooh! Look! They're planning to 'utilize synergy.' We're in trouble now!" Another man laughs and a woman says, "Stop! You're killing me!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #promise the customer, #build in month, #timing probelm, #shifting blame, #engineering, #spending huge bonus, #blame transfer

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. A salesman tells them, "I had to promise the customer we could build the thing in a month even though you said it was impossible." The salesperson continues, "I'll solve the timing problem by shifting blame to engineering while spending the huge bonus I got for the sale." Dilbert says, "Your planning has improved." The man closes his eyes and says, "Beginning blame transfer now . . ." The other people at the table growl.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #starting business, #masseur, #cubicle dwellers, #touch my back, #chair massage

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Dogbert sits on a ledge or table. Bob the dinosaur says, "I'm starting my own business as a masseur." He has a towel draped over his arm. Bob says, "My specialty will be in-office chair massages for cubicle dwellers." Wally sits at his desk in front of his computer and says, "Were you planning to touch my back at any point?" Bob massages Wally office chair and says, "It's a CHAIR massage, pervert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #chief financial offcier, #one sentence descriptions, #projects, #critical budget deciosns, #semi colons

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Caption: "Chief Financial Officer" The moron sits between Dilbert and the Boss. The moron says, "I need one-sentence descriptions of each of your projects." Dilbert says, "You're planning to make critical budget decisions based on THAT? " The Moron says, "Yes." Wally stands behind Dilbert who sits at his computer. Wally says, "Wow. Five pages without using a period." Dilbert says, "Thank God for semi-colons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #time to go, #working all night, #extra work, #not better off, #fixed mistakes, #duct tape, #chair, #uncanny, #duck tape cureall

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "It's seven o'clock, Ed. Time to call it a night." Ed replies, "I'm planning to work all night." Ed explains, "I'm not very bright so I work long hours to compensate." Dilbert says, "Ed, we're not better off when you do extra work." Ed says, "I'm not quite following your logic." Alice and Wally stand behind Dilbert. Dilbert says, "We all worked late undoing what you did yesterday." Dilbert continues, "We voted to duct-tape you to your chair." As they tape Ed to his chair, Alice says, "It's uncanny how many problems you can solve with duct tape." Wally says, "Sometimes I use it instead of underwear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #introduce you, #engineers, #karen, #new vp, #value employee, #open communications, #emailing freind, #window seat, #ask raining, #made raincoat, #garbage bag

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The Boss stands next to Dilbert's desk and says, "Let me introduce you to one of our engineers." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Karen is our new vice president. And you are . . .?" Dilbert reaches to shake the woman's hand and replies, "Dilbert: valued employee." The VP says, "I believe in open communications, Dilbert. Feel free to talk about anything." The Boss thinks, "Uh-oh." Karen asks, "So, what were you working on?" The Boss covers his eyes and thinks, "Oh no." Dilbert answers, "Well . . . I was just sending an e-mail to somebody who sits by a window to ask if it's raining." Dilbert continues, "If it's raining I'll fashion a raincoat from a large trash bag. Watch." Dilbert wears a plastic trash bag and says, "Three holes and you're ready to go!" The VP asks, "Are you planning to go out at lunch?" Dilbert replies, "Only if it rains."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #budget trap, #quick estimate, #next project, #rough estimate, #wild guess, #beudget, #two million dollars, #can't afford

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The caption says, "The Budget Trap." The Boss says, "I need a quick estimate for how much your next project will cost, Wally." Wally replies, "How should I know? You haven't even told me what my next project is." The Boss says, "That's okay. I only need a rough estimate for planning purposes." Wally says, "I see where this is going. You're going to turn my wild guess into a budget. Later I'll be blamed when it's wrong." The Boss replies, "No, no. I won't hold you to these numbers." Wally says, "Well . . . Okay, let's say two million dollars." The Boss says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Can't afford that. I'll put you down for twenty thousand dollars." The caption says, "One year later . . ." The Boss sits at his desk and says to Wally, "You're way over budget. Can you show me the cause?" Wally replies, "It depends. Can mirrors reflect your image?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1997's comic on:


Tags #make copy, #secretary, #more cost effective, #highly paid, #document, #high level plnning, #secretary takes lunch, #never makes copy

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Dilbert holds a paper and says, "I'll make a quick copy and then we can discuss it." The Boss says, "No, no. I'll have my secretary do that." Dilbert protests, "That will take longer." The Boss says, "It's more cost-effective." The Boss hands the paper to Carol and says,"We're highly-paid professionals. Carol is... well... I don't know if we pay her at all." The Boss says, "Now we'refree to do high-level planning." DIlbert says, "Um... we kinda need that document." Carol is in her cubicle and drops the document on a stack of papers labeled "Urgent." She looks at her watch and says, "Ooh, time for lunch." Dilbert rests his head in his hands and the Boss says, "So... do you fish?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #happy birthday alice, #gift, #charity money, #team spitit, #ash tray, #dont smoke, #ashtray as gift

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Alice and Dilbert sit at a table. Wally stands at the table. Wally says, "Happy Birthday Alice!" Dilbert gives Alice a gift. Wally says, "I was planning to get a gift..." Wally continues, "But then I thought...". Alice takes the gift from Dilbert. Wally says, "Why not give the money to a charity in Alice's name?" Alice asks, "Really? Which charity?" Wally says, "Ummm...'The United Society of Poor People with Major Health Problems'." Alice opens Dilbert's gift. Alice says, "...And Dilbert got me an ashtray even though I don't smoke." Dilbert says, "You don't?" Wally and Dilbert sit at the table. Alice's seat is empty. Alice has left her gift on the table. Wally says, "They say this sort of thing builds team spirit." Dilbert says, "It must be gradual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meet with vendor, #plan, #executives, #reason, #complete waste, #perfromance review

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The boss and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says, "Meet with our vendor and come up with a plan. I'll do the same with their executives." Dilbert says, "Can you see any reason why MY meeting might be a complete waste of time?" The boss says, "Sure, lots of them, but I'm planning to spring those on you during your performance review."