Productivity Rewarded Comic Strips - Page 5

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107 Results for Productivity Rewarded

View 41 - 50 results for productivity rewarded comic strips. Discover the best "Productivity Rewarded" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #worklife balance, #japanese, #sleeping, #productivity, #commuting

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The Boss points to a wall of circular openings and tells Dilbert, "I borrowed a Japanese work custom - sleeping tubes!" The Boss explains, "No more wasted time commuting. If you keel over from exhaustion we'll just cram you into a sleep tube." Dilbert asks, "Which tube is mine?" The Boss replies, "You don't get a personal tube unless you're employee of the week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #matt, #Dilbert, #computer, #mentoring, #productivity, #training

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Dilbert says to Matt, "This is your computer." Dilbert moves the mouse and says, "When you hear footsteps it's a good idea to move this thing around and click it." Dilbert says as he walks away, "This concludes your technical training. If you have further questions just remember you're inconveniencing me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #destroying prodcutivity, #hire contract employees, #constractors, #humilaition

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Dogbert sits at the Boss's desk. Dilbert and Alice stand in front of him. Dilbert says, "The rumors are destroying our productivity. We can't work with all this uncertainty." Dogbert answers, "I plan to buy proven technology and hire contract employees. You'll be gophers for the contractors until you resign in disgust and humiliation." Dilbert and Alice look scared. Dilbert asks, "Is there any way to get back to uncertainty?" Dogbert answers, "I'll see what I can do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #prodcutivity, #moving, #cubcile, #phone, #comaputer, #disconnected, #boxed, #lost, #abandoned pretense, #loser

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The Boss looks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I see signs of productivity here. I'm moving you to another cubicle." The Boss continues, "Your phone and computer will be disconnected for weeks. Your files will be boxed and lost." Dilbert's hair stands on end as he says, "Good Lord, you've abandoned all pretense of being on our side!!" The Boss responds, "Loser."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #time sheet, #increments, #15 minutes, #meetings, #shower time thinking, #designing circuits, #complaining

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Dilbert hands his timesheet to a secretary and says, "Here's my timesheet, filled out in increments of fifteen minutes." Dilbert says, "As usual, I coded the useless hours spent in meetings as 'work,' whereas the time I spent in the shower designing circuits in my mind as 'non-work.'" Dilbert continues, "Interestingly, even the time I spend complaining about my lack of productivity is considered 'work.'" The secretary thinks, "I hate my life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #sitting for boss, #prodcutivity, #efficiency, #queen alice

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally peers into Dilbert's cubicle and yells, "Alice is sitting in for the boss!" Dilbert stands up, raises both hands in the air and shouts, "Productivity at last!!!" Wally yells, "Efficiency! Yes!!" Inside the cubicle, Wally says, "As long as she doesn't get an attitude . . ." Alice stands outside the cubicle with a crown on her head and a wand in her hand. Someone is bowing in front of her.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #calculated, #total time, #humans wait, #web pages, #information age, #big plot, #web is plot, #normal society

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Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert says, "I calculated the total time that humans have waited for Web pages to load . . ." Dilbert continues, "It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age." Dilbert says, "Sometimes I think the Web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, he's on to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #email monitoring system, #personal message, #unpaid overtime, #cluelessness in vicinity, #manipulating emplyee

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The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #crabby, #defies, #society, #reward, #power, #crabdom, #worthless

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Have you ever noticed how crabby people always get what they want?" Dogbert continues, "It defies all reason. Society should punish the crabby, but instead they get rewarded." Dogbert continues, "So why fight it? I've decided to try the power of crabdom myself." Dilbert says, "I'm working. Could we talk later?" Dogbert says angrily, "Later?! Later?! Is my time worthless to you? What about MY needs?" Dogbert continues, "We'll talk NOW or we won't talk ever again!!" Dilbert replies, "Okay, okay! Let's talk." Dilbert asks, "Or were you just testing the power of crabdom?" Dogbert says, "Now you will dance for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #demand for engineers, #supply, #increasing insolence, #decreasing prodcutivity, #hire engineer, #equilibrium restored

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Dilbert and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "This week I discovered that the demand for engineers exceeds the supply." The Boss, Dilbert, and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "I responded by increasing my insolence and decreasing my productivity." The Boss says, "I will never hire another engineer as along as I'm alive." "Equilibrium has been restored," says Wally.