Sarcasm Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
270 Results for Sarcasm
View 41 - 50 results for sarcasm comic strips. Discover the best "Sarcasm" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 07,
1994
Tags new employee, new engineer, sarcasm, shows around, telephone, cubicle, hallway, every foot staep, bad points, office tour, crazy, bad conditions, employement
Transcript
The Boss: "Laurie's our new engineer. Show her the ropes, Dilbert." "I meant figuratively." Dilbert: "This is your anti-productivity pod." "It's equipped with a little device that rings anytime you try to concentrate." "The top is open so none of the background noise is inadvertently muffled." "And you're on the main aisle, so you'll be haunted every minute by footsteps behind you. Step...step...step." The Boss: "We need to talk."
Sunday May 10,
1998
Tags cubicle walls, detrsoys fabric, acoustical absorbtion, agreemnet, sarcasm
Transcript
The Boss peaks into a cubicle and thinks, "What the ...?" The Boss walks into Alice's cubicle, points to something on her cubicle wall and says, "Alice, you know we don't allow anything on cubicle walls." The Boss continues, "It destroys the acoustic absorption of the fabric." Alice covers her ears and shrieks, "OUCH!! My easr! Don't shout!" Alice says to The Boss, "You're right! I've ruined the acoustic absorption." Alice reaches to remove the paper on her wall and says, "It seemed so harmless. I'll remove it immediately." Alice and The Boss stare at eachother. The Boss exits the cubicle and says, "Why is it worse when they agree with me?" Alice covers her ears again and says, "What? Eh?"
Monday February 14,
2000
Tags drive carefully, drive into a tree, policy, using cell phones, poisonous snakes, sarcasm, joking, obvious
Transcript
The Boss and Asok the Intern are sitting at a table. The Boss informs Asok: "The new policy says you must drive carefully while using cell phones." Asok says: "This policy is just in time. I had planned to drive into a tree." Asok leans toward the Boss and asks: "Is there anything there about handling poisonous snakes?"
Saturday December 06,
2008
Tags economy, sarcasm, smart, twice as smart, survive economy, spontaneously developing, high iq, pep talk, worked in marketing, see future
Transcript
The boss: We need to be twice as smart to survive this economy. Dilbert: Good plan. I look forward to spontaneously developing an I.Q. of 400. The boss: This pep talk totally worked in marketing. Dilbert: Will I be able to see the future?
Thursday December 25,
2008
Tags annoyance, garbage, gift, sarcasm, re gifted, free
Transcript
Ratbert says, "The best things in life are free, so I got you this." Dilbert says, "This looks like trash from my garbage can." Ratbert says, "You're welcome." Ratbert says, "I only chewed on the delicious parts!" Dilbert says, "Spank you very much."
Tuesday January 06,
2009
Tags cold, temperature, rudeness, sarcasm
Transcript
Carol says, "It's only 68 degrees in here. Why aren't you cold?" Wally says, "I'm a mammal, but I don't like to brag about it." Carol says, "What's that supposed to mean?" Wally says, "Stop pinging me with your sonar."
Tuesday March 10,
2009
Tags sarcasm, lying down, therapy, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I've fallen in love with my phone." Dilbert says, "It entertains me. It knows where I am. It responds to my touch. It never judges me." Psychiatrist says, "So, it's like a woman to you." Dilbert says, "Way better." Dilbert says, "Are your even listening?"
Thursday May 28,
2009
Tags asking, work, assignment, placating, saluting, sarcasm
Transcript
The boss says, "Find out how many engineers our competitors have so we can justify having that many." Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll spend a few hours comparing our apples to their oranges." The boss says, "Why does your cooperation sound like insubordination?" Dilbert says, "Aye-aye, captain!"
Tuesday August 04,
2009
Tags suggestion, sitting, typing, annoyed, sarcasm
Transcript
The boss says, "Our VP of Sales asks that you answer customer questions through the sales reps, not directly." Dilbert says, "Is the goal to reduce the timeliness of my answers or just to filter out the accuracy?" The boss says, "Why are you like this?" DIlbert says, "Should I tell you or the sales reps?"
Sunday April 29,
2007
Tags big business, business, cars, news, sales, sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: We're going to take a page from the automaker's playbooks. Automakers prove their design skills by creating concept cars that will never go into production. Then they prove their management skills by producing cars that are less attractive than corrective underpants. Tomorrow we're holding a press conference to show the world our own concept product. Our concept product can stop global warming and wax your back at the same time. Man: Can it actually do those things? Boss: Why do you care? Man: So...actually it's just a huge waste of our time. Boss: You have a mighty low opinion of news.

